hey
so i was just looking through my visitors on my counter (seeing if any of you actually read/scanned through the treatise on Canadian government to find the point of the post...) and i discovered that someone had come to this blog courtesy of the search term:
"glow in the dark tingler ring"
when i see funny terms (or even sometimes sad terms) i like to check out the google lists to figure out why someone would choose to come to the blog from the hits they got.
here's the page with my number 3 google placement
I started this blog to discuss the downward slide of my marriage. That marriage has now collapsed and I am trying to put together a my life in a new configuration. I want a world that rejoices in infinite diversity, and is not ordered in small boxes and neat rows... I want to greet each new day with the freshness, enthusiasm, energy, and possibility of first light on a spring morning. This is the story of how I'm doing.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
i'm alive
more or less alive
so much has happened
so much has changed
so little is different
----
i'm going to have to stretch out my posts about the last two months because it would be the mother of all posts to do one single update
----
i'm still employed even if many of my friends aren't. much of my life is clustered around the business, and so are my friends. i like having friends whose worldview is like mine.
now the people who made up my daily life and who shared my passion are scattering
it's sad
it's an adjustment
i will see how many friendships endure beyond the common tie of work
----
my Dad had a couple of major TIAs (transient ischemic attack). He was hospitalised and had partial paralysis in his right side. He is still recovering from the paralysis.
"TIAs occur when a blood clot temporarily clogs an artery, and part of the brain doesn't get the blood it needs. The symptoms occur rapidly and last a relatively short time. Most TIAs last less than five minutes. The average is about a minute. Unlike stroke, when a TIA is over, there's no injury to the brain."
TIAs are also called mini-strokes. It's a bit of a mis-nomer. A stroke causes permanent damage, a TIA does not.
The medical folks believe that this episode caused no permanent damage. They found evidence of dead tissue, though - so he has had real strokes already. This doesn't come as a huge surprise to me. He has had various confusion issues - he is really quite brilliant, so his slightly damaged brain is still sharper than most people's full capacity. But knowing him - he is diminished - as noted in a couple of past posts.
My mom isn't talking it very well. Dad is being his usual asshole self. Concerned for the first little bit, adjusts to the minor discomfort and then doesn't change.
He has the adult version of teenaged invulnerability. He has always been such a capable individual he was able to handle anything and everything that was ever thrown his way. Add to that a politician's ego and you have a recipe for ignoring the decrepitude of age. Add to that a healthy dose of physical laziness. He can work physically hard - he farmed for most of his life in addition to his professional career. His jobs have been extremely demanding - he always works hard at anything he works at - but only what he chooses to, and only what he wants to. And he doesn't do exercise. It holds no interest for him. He can bluff, and slough, and slide his way through everything else. Now this too.
Add to that a streak of stubbornness that would put a mule to shame...
We'll see how all this works out.
----
after being stable for awhile
stbx-Mrs_C is losing it
in a bad way
the shit that used to be directed at me is belching out toward my kids
it has accelerated over the last 3-4 weeks
that is a subject for a whole post
----
it's home time, so all the rest of what i was intending to write about will have to go by the wayside for now
i will post a few pictures from the wine tour Smitten and I went on - where we got to meet Balloon Pirate.
things are good there
sometimes wonderful
sometimes tired
not the relationship
but the people
there is a lot happening - maybe most of it is happening in my own head
but it tires me out
----
home time
more later
----
P.S. sorry to have been a bad blog buddy, but there was little choice over the last while
i have tried to keep half assed up to date on your blogs, but have sucked in general. i will continue to suck for the next while - just not as bad as i have recently
thank-you to everybody that checks in and who has inquired
thank-you for being friends
so much has happened
so much has changed
so little is different
----
i'm going to have to stretch out my posts about the last two months because it would be the mother of all posts to do one single update
----
i'm still employed even if many of my friends aren't. much of my life is clustered around the business, and so are my friends. i like having friends whose worldview is like mine.
now the people who made up my daily life and who shared my passion are scattering
it's sad
it's an adjustment
i will see how many friendships endure beyond the common tie of work
----
my Dad had a couple of major TIAs (transient ischemic attack). He was hospitalised and had partial paralysis in his right side. He is still recovering from the paralysis.
"TIAs occur when a blood clot temporarily clogs an artery, and part of the brain doesn't get the blood it needs. The symptoms occur rapidly and last a relatively short time. Most TIAs last less than five minutes. The average is about a minute. Unlike stroke, when a TIA is over, there's no injury to the brain."
TIAs are also called mini-strokes. It's a bit of a mis-nomer. A stroke causes permanent damage, a TIA does not.
The medical folks believe that this episode caused no permanent damage. They found evidence of dead tissue, though - so he has had real strokes already. This doesn't come as a huge surprise to me. He has had various confusion issues - he is really quite brilliant, so his slightly damaged brain is still sharper than most people's full capacity. But knowing him - he is diminished - as noted in a couple of past posts.
My mom isn't talking it very well. Dad is being his usual asshole self. Concerned for the first little bit, adjusts to the minor discomfort and then doesn't change.
He has the adult version of teenaged invulnerability. He has always been such a capable individual he was able to handle anything and everything that was ever thrown his way. Add to that a politician's ego and you have a recipe for ignoring the decrepitude of age. Add to that a healthy dose of physical laziness. He can work physically hard - he farmed for most of his life in addition to his professional career. His jobs have been extremely demanding - he always works hard at anything he works at - but only what he chooses to, and only what he wants to. And he doesn't do exercise. It holds no interest for him. He can bluff, and slough, and slide his way through everything else. Now this too.
Add to that a streak of stubbornness that would put a mule to shame...
We'll see how all this works out.
----
after being stable for awhile
stbx-Mrs_C is losing it
in a bad way
the shit that used to be directed at me is belching out toward my kids
it has accelerated over the last 3-4 weeks
that is a subject for a whole post
----
it's home time, so all the rest of what i was intending to write about will have to go by the wayside for now
i will post a few pictures from the wine tour Smitten and I went on - where we got to meet Balloon Pirate.
things are good there
sometimes wonderful
sometimes tired
not the relationship
but the people
there is a lot happening - maybe most of it is happening in my own head
but it tires me out
----
home time
more later
----
P.S. sorry to have been a bad blog buddy, but there was little choice over the last while
i have tried to keep half assed up to date on your blogs, but have sucked in general. i will continue to suck for the next while - just not as bad as i have recently
thank-you to everybody that checks in and who has inquired
thank-you for being friends
Thursday, November 08, 2007
trolling for wien
wien
i'd like to read your blog, if you are interested in having me as a reader - you've made it private now
if any other readers have contact with wien, please pass along my request
thanks
i'd like to read your blog, if you are interested in having me as a reader - you've made it private now
if any other readers have contact with wien, please pass along my request
thanks
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
went away, conflict nearing end, son's birthday
We went away last weekend on a wine tasting tour. it was fun - more later
Smitten and I met Ballon Pirate in person - that made me very happy.
My son is now 16. Took him for Indian food for his supper.
Smitten stuck a candle and a sparkler into a Gulab Jamin and gave son a green cone party hat with a sparkly fringe on the bottom. He was thrilled by dinner and his celebratory dessert.
The owner of the restaurant was so thrilled about this 16 year old white kind loving Indian food so much he brought out extra stuff for him to enjoy.
More on son's birthday later, too.
The conflict is about a day to be over.
We're going to lose.
Got to man the barricades.
Smitten and I met Ballon Pirate in person - that made me very happy.
My son is now 16. Took him for Indian food for his supper.
Smitten stuck a candle and a sparkler into a Gulab Jamin and gave son a green cone party hat with a sparkly fringe on the bottom. He was thrilled by dinner and his celebratory dessert.
The owner of the restaurant was so thrilled about this 16 year old white kind loving Indian food so much he brought out extra stuff for him to enjoy.
More on son's birthday later, too.
The conflict is about a day to be over.
We're going to lose.
Got to man the barricades.