I'd like to write about things that are funny or full of pathos. But it's all used up right now. The conflict is grinding on. It's the end of week two. Two more weeks to go.
It's like a football game that is scoreless and all gets played mid-field with no real gains on either side. Like an NFL game - a rushing game - a game where it's just linebackers slamming into each other.
(or it would be if I had ever actually watched an NFL football game... but my sports inclined buddies used a hockey metaphor and i figured that i would translate it into a more U.S. centric version)
The hours are long. It has been a bit of a lull for the last 5 days for me. My hell time was getting the IT infrastructure up and running in the week prior to the beginning and for the first 7-10 days.
Network install orders gone wrong, missing computer shipments, missing screens and missing computers, server issues, email issues, blah, blah, blah. The expected kinds of start-up problems when you trying to simultaneously start about 60 offices and some 600 full-time volunteers in 3 days. Offices that have to be up and running in 24 hours or so... yep - didn't happen - well, it did, but not fully. As for advance prep - well you can plan, and you can put in standby orders, but we don't have fixed conflict dates here like you do in the U.S. It can be at any time - we knew it was probably coming - but we got about 5 days notice that it was a for sure go, and we can't spend much money in advance under the law (also just being really cheap bastards) - leaves us in a hellish scramble to put it all together as soon as the launch happens.
It's actually better this time. I was pretty much alone in IT infrastructure last time. Now there's 5 of us. We are doubling as the data people, but most the central data work doesn't happen until after the initial set-up.
There has been no defining issue in the conflict so far. A set of published statements by each side and the slow attrition of "you suck" - "no, you suck" - "no, you suck more". The press doesn't help. They are interested in so called "Human stories" rather than substantive debate of issues.
Our opposition doesn't help either. They are trying to cover up their real agenda by watering it down into milquetoast so people won't be scared or their hard right agenda. And the fucking press gives them a pass. We have years and years of the other guys on the record with really fucked up ideas (like no minimum wage, hacking at occupational health and safety, getting rid of source water protection [environmental regulations designed to protect drinking water]) - but the press ignores it. Yet stuff our people said in the 1930s gets air play.
Fuck I hate the press.
----
The conflict has been interfering with my time with my kids and with Smitten. They accept it as a fact of life.
Even the kids have lived through several conflicts before - even in their short lives. They accept the necessities of the fight. They understand the duty. Son has been working the phone banks. We did literature drops previously, but this is his first full involvement. He's 16. I am pleased he is interested enough to do it (the $12 an hour he's being paid is a motivator too... i am sure). Daughter, at 11, is still too young - in my opinion. I was knocking on doors as a full canvasser at the age of 9. Different era - different parents. I won't do that to my kids.
They are believers, such as they can be at their ages.
Smitten has been gracious. We have watched several historical works together - they describe the beginnings of the movement and the call to action. She has listened to me go on and on about what I believe. She has bleeding heart tendencies already, though she has not been active or involved in my particular turf, so it's an easy sell - her long history of community involvement makes what I do a short step for her.
The passion for a better world. The call to action. The will to stand up for it.
She says this is part of what attracts her to me. That she understands that the time spent is part of the cost of that passion and belief.
----
I got part of the proprty settlement. I was able to liquidate part of our stock holdings. A substantial chunk of change. Paid down some debt. Paid some bills. And bought a swack of new clothes. Threw out a bunch of old clothes.
I like wearing clothes that I bought. That I picked. My own taste and style.
----
I spent some money buying Smitten some clothes. And some boots. She thinks the boots are for her. I say they're for me. They are up to just under her knee, are shiny black leather, have interesting buckles and spike heels. You figure out whom they are for [heh!].
She works at a community organisation - a helping the poor place. She makes a lot less money than she should. For years she has bought clothes that were on sale and were just classic styles in order to stretch her dollars. she had complained one time about just having old stuff - and that she is looking forward to getting a new job so that she can afford to actually have a clothing budget.
Smitten is applying for new jobs right now - I think I mentioned that in previous posts - she is tired of living on the edge financially because of the wage constraints of her current organization.
I wanted her to have some clothes that were just for her (well, for me too - i like to look at her a lot - but clothes that are her decision). So we went shopping. She has always been an on her own kind of person - I've talked about that in the past - she was essentially abandoned when she was 16/17. It has been a big hurdle for her in our relationship - accepting my help - being reliant on anyone else.
At one level it was pretty hard for her to accept me doing this for her. But it was also joyful. She likes to look good and be stylish.
We got some really nice stuff that day.
We are also going on a trip in the near future and i wanted her to have some new clothes for the trip.
I also wanted her to have some new clothes for any interview she might have.
----
Made waffles for Smitten last weekend. She hasn't had waffles in about 15 years since her dietary issues became troublesome. These were made from bean flour - a friend of mine gave me some 5 bean flour and a recipe. I went out and bought a $10.00 waffle iron just for the occasion.
they were really good - couldn't tell they were bean flour. I'll post the recipe somewhere (here or eat it and weep).
Smitten was delighted. It was a big deal.
----
I have been buying food and cooking for some of the people in the central office. Offered to do laundry for a couple of the other IT guys, but they found time last weekend.
A lot of delivery restaurant food was being consumed.
I made a bunch of healthy stuff and put it in the fridge so they could eat vegetables and light fare.
16 - 18 hour days under huge stress and eating shitty food - recipe for problems. I've been pressuring people to eat healthily. Many of them - this is their first time in central office in a conflict. They don't understand the pacing or the realities of surviving.
I pissed a few of them off by harping on the subject, but to a person they came back and apologised for getting cranky and said that they realised after eating decent food that I was right.
Even if they were just jollying me (which I doubt), I'm just happy they are starting to eat better. They've also offered money to pay for the stuff. I've been bagging at them about sleep and taking walks too. I have harped on a few to go take walks around the area during moderate downtime. They went.
As one guy told his mom (who's been giving him grief too) "Don't worry Mom, I've found a surrogate mother in a large hairy deep voiced straight guy*. He's been making me eat right and sleep." His mother has been working conflicts since he was in utero... (*he's gay - so that's where the "straight guy" thing came from).
----
Sorry if this post was a little disjointed, or incomplete, but I wrote it in a small gap in time.
