Sunday, November 29, 2009

stbx at the bank

i have been floating in a void of no information

i have been harassing my lawyer daily

he is sick of this. he is only doing family law because my lawyer is on maternity leave, and the other family law lawyer left the firm. so the others have to pick up the cases.

he is sick of the stbx and her bullshit - terribly

in one of our meetings he told me he "now understood" my anger and frustration when he looked at the the file - which is about 6 inches thick...

he sent me this email on friday

Re: day 15 of 7 - any word on anything?

[cadbury], I am out of the office most of today. I did hear that mortgage documents were the issue and I have followed up.
-----Original Message-----
From: [cadbury]
To: [lawyer]
Sent: 11/27/2009 10:17:18 AM
Subject: day 15 of 7 - any word on anything?

has anyone on the other side even returned a phone call?

is there any information on anything?


i was not satisfied with this amount of information because i believe the stbx is not acting in good faith and is actively stalling for every day she can - it is her pattern - a minute, and hour, a day, a week - stall, stall, stall

so i went to the bank. i am still on the mortgage. i was going to talk to a mortgage officer and find out if there was "anything i needed to do, or needed to instruct my lawyer to do" to facilitate disposition of the title transfer. iwas going to be utterly sincere, explain how i don't talk much with the stbx, but that she had said there was some kind of authorisation thing that was held up, and that she had told me that i needed to sign something at the bank - and could they tell me what i needed to do or have my lawyer do

they wouldn't tell me very much, but what they would tell me would verify whether she had even been to the bank to talk to them, and might allow me to glean a little information

i was, and am, of the opinion that she hadn't done anything and that it was only the threat of suing that would motivate her


i got to the bank

i was waiting for the mortgage receptionist to get off the phone, when

guess who walked in?

the stbx

she looked directly at me, but gave no acknowledgment. i gave none to her either.

she turned her back to me and waited

i waited for a minute because i had not anticipated this possible situation. i thought she would be on her way to work at that moment.

then i left

at least we know she was at the bank and waiting to talk to a mortgage officer...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

day 14 of 7

still no money

still no word from my lawyer

my lawyer seems to be avoiding my calls

as of yesterday the property registry says my name is still on the registry

title transfers take 3.5 days with another day for transmittal...


Thursday, November 19, 2009

7 days (and holding)

sent the following to my lawyer:

Subject: any word on settlement payment?

as above

not expecting they will have it done, just wondering if there is any
word as to their progress.

the thing that i am fearful of, is that she/they have done essentially
nothing and will stall for 2 or 3 weeks on getting this done


lawyer called me back to say that all he has heard is the whistling wind

he hasn't even been able to reach her lawyer(s)

the agreement says i'm supposed to get my money 7 days from signing. it's now 9 days since the fully countersigned documents were returned to her lawyer

he has left a voicemail reminding her of the 7 day provision. he advised them that we understand that it might take a day or two extra, especially with the Remembrance Day holiday in there. he reminded them that we are now in a position to take enforcement action against them and force the sale of the house, among other remedies. he has asked for their estimate of when it will be done.


daughter told me that the stbx told her flat out that she was stalling as long as she could because "she thinks she'll be broke as soon as she pays you"

as always, if they say it isn't about the money - it's about the money...

Jewish Santa

I'm going to be out of country (driving my parents to Texas [hopefully meeting Sicilian while down there - she lives very near our route]) when the clinic's childrens' Christmas Party is on. I would have been Santa otherwise.

But, being as I will be some 2000 miles away...

And being as there is a shortage of males on staff, and the various husbands and partners are not very good sports [grump].

The boyfriend of one of our staffers is going to be Santa.

He's from New York (metro). He's Jewish. He's studying to be a Rabbi. Lived in Israel on a Kibbutz and all the rest...

(I am friends with them - he's hilarious)

This is one of the funniest absurdities I have encountered in some time.

(He says that he wants to be known to the adults as "Morty Claus" from Macy's.)

Hey - Jesus was Jewish too...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

illness screening centre

i am being somewhat circumspect in my language in this post because i don't particularly want to pop up on any search engines for the normal terms used.

as you are aware the hospitals and medical system here is government run and paid for. there are private clinics (usually owned by the doctors at the clinic) that bill to the government. the private labs also bill the government - it's sort of hybrid between a full state system and an insurance/HMO kind of deal - except no-one gets turned down. the medical care insurance commission (which may not be even called that anymore) is a giant bill paying centre. you show up at a medical practitioner, show them your health card (government issue), and everything else is just auto-magically taken care of. all the billing is direct between the provider and the government. no deductables, no forms (patient forms - the provider sends all the paperwork and electronic billing).

lots of the specialists are on salary and some level of fee for service.

i work in a large co-op clinic (theoretically "owned" and controlled by the members) that is "arms length" from the government/department of health, but is fully funded by the government.

the emergnecy departments are being swamped by people with flu symptoms. over 300 a day (our community only has about 350,000 people at most in urban/rural coverage area)

300 people a day extra is a fair volume.

so our clinic volunteered to be the screening centre - regular and the "porcine" variety. we have all been immunised for a couple of weeks already as health care workers (some staff didn't get immunised, but only a couple)

it's really interesting to be part of this kind of an organisational effort to "tool up" for handling this. everything from needing metal garbage cans (sterilisation), parking logistics, line ropes, ordering extra masks, blah, blah

it's really kind of cool

i am totally a "systems" guy. i love knowing the tiny details about how things run, and all the little tricks and bits that allow systems to run - everything from manufacturing plants to laundry facilities to sewage to power plants and grids to road crews - i'm on it. physical plant and methods of organisation. i want to know. every detail.

this is neat

also, being the new guy and the "man about the house" in the circle of 56 long term employed women, i'm culturally less likely to be all bitchy about all the extras that have to be done to make this work. i am afraid that my long term employed/unionised comrades (i'm union too - former shop steward and provincial labour council member, i might add) are concerned more with how this might inconvenience them, than in just getting the job done...

so, even though i'm the computer guy/privacy officer, i fix toilets, buy garbage cans, put up rope lines, move furniture, run cables and power, paint, cover open areas and wipe walls with germicides

i figure i'm being paid to work. this is a special situation, and everyone can bend a little to meet the need.

there are a lot of sick people out there and there will be a lot more when this peaks in the projected 4 - 6 weeks.

it's still pretty neat

and further fucking around begins...

so i sign the documents this morning.

my lawyer [R] says that the stbx's lawyer [J] has advised him that the stbx says that financing is not in place. nothing is prepped. she [J] says.

the stbx has been telling me and the mediators that everything was ready to go and that all i had to do was sign the transfer agreements. since june she's been saying this.

now, nothings done. they say.


well, it's predictable. at least the agreement is signed and it stipulates that they have 7 days to come up with the money. they signed it.

i will so sue. and so fast.

i have a contract now. they will have some defense against a suit if they can prove that they are diligently and expeditiously following up on their end of the contract. but if they try to delay for any reason, i will be so on their ass.

i have something to work with now

she doesn't have all the control anymore

whomever said "possession is nine-tenths of the law", sure knew what they were talking about. but now i have a contract (settlement).


i told my lawyer to complete the divorce proceedings. i filed a year or two ago, but it was never completed. he is sending the sign-off documents when he returns their signed copies of the settlement so that the stbx can sign the divorce stuff right away - the stbx will have to go in to sign various transfer documents. we'll see what her reaction is to having the divorce papers that fast.

i hope it makes her ears bleed


i have requested my lawyer draw up a new will to replace the interim documentation that i had put together after separating.

i am establishing a trust for my kids money - no-way they are getting their hands on any cash until they are much older and straightened out a bit.

i am putting in some provision for Smitten

and that's pretty much it

i don't have much

$350,000 or so in life insurance through the Knights of Columbus, i have to check and see what my work group life plan is... and then whatever is left of any assets after debts.

i figure i put the $350 towards the kids, and the rest to Smitten.

not that i'm planning on dying soon

you see, now i have a life to live

Monday, November 09, 2009

she signed

she signed the settlement

today - they waited until 4:47pm to have it arrive at my lawyer's office - 5pm was the deadline for the deal to be off.

the last deadline was friday at 5pm. they said thursday that they would sign on friday, because otherwise we would be in court. and then at 3:30pm sent my lawyer an email that said that the stbx had another urgent matter to attend to (turned out to be changing her parents' shower head). they promised monday. this morning i sent back a note that said that i would not extend the deadline again and that my lawyer had instructions to draft the court documents to be delivered to the court on tuesday morning.


3 years, 4 months, 9 agreements and deals with numerous side deals, 2 formal lawyer drafted agreements later

she signed

fuck i hate her

i hate her so much

her actions all the way through say what kind of a human being she is.

i am so better off without her

as much as i can keep her away

she can still fuck me around on taking her sweet time on paying me - even though there is a 7 day clause - she'll still fuck with me

as soon as the papers with my signature are delivered to her lawyer, my lawyer has instructions to file the actual divorce documents