son's friend is staying at the house with mrs_c (and with son and daughter the week they are there) (family breakdown with son's friend. short story: he has fundamentalist christian parents that were getting weirder by the week. they actually said that my son and their son were "loners" who were the kind of kids who would end up taking a gun and shooting up a school... why? because both kids play videogames and the science fiction wargames Warhammer 40,000. for the record, both boys are highly social and are described as well adjusted [if a little geeky] by their teachers and guidance counsellors. Son's friend's parents' response to everything is to scream at their son. They're weird. They're psycho loony fundamentalists). he has been staying there for about a month now.
son's friend brings out this note and gives it to me.
it's from mrs_c. we had an argument on sunday right before supper that i walked out on. i had gone with son to pick up something he forgot. mrs_c was still trying to get me to come home, and but still slagging me... she's fucked. she was trying to convince me our marriage could work.
the note (verbatim as written):
"If you look your childern in the eye and say I did everything possible to save this relationship you haven't earned the right to end it"
i think i know what she was trying to say, but i'm not sure.
in the conversation Sunday night mrs_c said she was going for full custody of both children, starting with daughter.
she says she's "documenting".
i think it's idle, but i'm taking no chances. more on that and lawyer stuff later.
i think that "documenting" is one of the reasons she phones the apartment many nights to "say good night". I think she is trying to document if i am leaving the kids by themselves - specifically daughter (10). That is why she phones on Mon/Wed/Fri especially (my exercise days).
I said my speculation out loud. My daughter said "Then I'm just not telling her whether you are there or not." then she said "If it goes to court, do I get a say?"
I told her yes.
Daughter told me mrs_c, aunt, and grandma had told her i was replacing my family with Smitten's family, and that i didn't care about my own children anymore because i would be spending all my time with them.
i told her that was a lie. a flat out lie. i told her i had only met Smitten's kids the day before (more on that further down).
Daughter asked to meet Smitten.
we all did lunch at a chinese food place on Sunday. Smitten and her 2 kids, and me and mine.
it was fun - everyone had a good time. my kids said they liked Smitten and her two kids.
i actually met Smitten's kids on Saturday (the day before the above).
My kids were with friends. i was talking to Smitten - she has some mice in her house - and she had caught a couple and they were well splattered. She was a little grimmed out by it all. Being a manly man trying to impress i volunteered to take care if the business. She accepted.
I went over and dealt with the brain splatters and such.
I met the kids (boy 11, girl 8).
I gave them the coins i had gotten for them and we blabbed for some time. We got along well. They liked the coins. It also gave us something to talk about. They asked me a billion questions about ancient rome and history and a whole pile of other stuff. the vacuum started quickly (I have been told by many that I am a natural teacher).
They told their Mom I was the smartest person they'd ever met.
Smitten said "Except for your Mom, right?" They said "Even smarter than you, Mom!"
Smitten's not sure how happy she is about that ;-)
Mrs_c is promulgating the theory that i have been having an affair for 5 years. My kids told me about it.
I showed them the messages (all "G" rated) on the online dating service (as you are aware, i had shown them my profile and discussed the issue with them) setting up the initial date - messages that made reference to it being a first date and the messages talking about a second date.
I asked them if they thought I was the kind of guy that would go through the process of setting that kind of groundwork for an elaborate lie of that level of detail. That would think that far ahead and plan at that kind of level for some future ploy or bizarre contingency.
They thought for a bit and said "Yes" (in unison).
(daughter just about peed herself laughing when they answered together without prompting)
Then they said that they didn't believe that I would actually try to deceive them at that kind of level.
I also told them that at some time they could slip the question to Smitten's kids about when we met. And that unless they were prepared to accept a bizarre conspiracy theory, and accept that an 8 year old girl could be pulled into that conspiracy... that they could get validation of the timeline there as well.
Daughter would like to get together with Smitten and kids again. Son is 14... "huh, what? what? huh? oh, ok, yeah. will there be food?"
(somewhat of an exaggeration)
My kids have said they think their Mother is losing her mind. That they believe she is unstable.
son doesn't want to go to the inlaws for christmas.
more later - see you