I will spare you the grisly details.
Suffice it to say that at the end of it all Mrs_C had agreed to counselling.
She said she was getting weird and paranoid as a result of "The man I love telling me he wants to leave me." That she was abusive toward me. That the discussions and rants were abusive and destructive.
All of the above was not bullied or fought out of her. They were a result of her being wrong about some accusations she was making last night, and me saying some of the things you folks have said in your posts (unattributed, of course).
I told her we needed to go to couselling. I said that if I was angry enough to strike her, and she was prepared to spend that much time pushing hot buttons to provoke me, that we had some serious issues that required professional interventions.
I said that the endless discussions were not doing any good.
That was when she said she was abusive and vicious during those sessions.
I said that I wanted to discuss with her the manner of choosing the counsellor so that she would not feel the counsellor was hand-picked by me and she could be comfortable with the counsellor. She agreed to a subsequent discussion.
She told me what she wants to do.
- She wants to complete two minor elements left over from the endless renovation (baseboards and some painting).
- take yoga or another exercise/flexibility class (don't remember the name of it, i'm afraid)
- become a stronger swimmer to overcome her fear of deep water
- take more art classes (Mrs_C is an accomplished amateur painter)
I said that I would examine and ensure the neccessary alterations to family scheduling took place to allow her to do these things.
I am pleased to hear a coherent set of desires and goals actually stated. The last ones were: I want to have a nice house and yard. I want us to be happy and go on some fun summer vacations as a family.
We'll see how this goes.
Just for the record. I don't know if I want to stay married - haven't for some time. This last weekend really sealed it for me. I had decided to get my parents to help bridge me financially into my own place until the house is sold and assets were rationalised.
And then Mrs_C comes out with this...
I worry that Mrs_C has some quasi-telepathic link that let's her know when I've completely had it. She's done it before. Made some grand saving gesture right as I'm headed out the door (well, intentionally almost out the door, anyway).
I'm not so thrilled.
It's gonna take some serious self-delusion to get excited about trying to re-float the Titanic yet one more time.