Round and Round we go...

Last Saturday started as a good day. It was a good day when I posted the comment that day.

That evening my daughter's friend was over until around 9pm. I had suggested to Mrs_C that we go out for a cup of coffee.

We did.

Things were going swimmingly.

As we were sitting down on a couch at the bistro we went to I creaked a little. Mrs_C said "I hope you didn't over-do it at your work-out today."

I said maybe a little, but probably not. I talked about how I get a buzz after about an hour on the elliptical. How I'm able to keep going for longer and a little harder with each week.

She starts telling me about how I'm getting obsessed with exercise. Then tells me I'm obsessed with my diet. That they are taking over our lives and our family.

When I question the hyperbole of these statements, she tells me "When you started your diet you said you would be re-introducing meat and other foods back into your diet by now."

This is weird to me because I can see no causal connection between the re-introduction of meat into my diet and her statement - but, so go "discussions" with Mrs_C - I am always left grasping thin air for the connections between what the hell she is talking about. He statement is also pretty weird to me because I said that when I reached my target weight I would start introducing meat and fish and other currently not consumed foods, but I haven't reached my target weight.

After mentioning this, she tells me that my target weight is too low. That it's not healthy and neither is my diet (FYI: it is both conforms and is a few steps healthier than US/Canada food rules). That I'm missing things I need in my diet. When am I going to start eating eggs every day? (i missed that one too, but read on...). That I spend all my time preparing my food and exercising.

Mrs_C abruptly puts down her cup (which she has finished) and says we have to go. I say not 'til I'm done mine (1/2 done). She turns her back on me on the other side of the couch. I give up and say let's go.

We get talk a bit in the car on the way home covering some of the same ground, and when we get home she stops to have a smoke in the garage and re-states her entire thesis again. But this time she adds that everything we do, and have ever done in our relationship, is for me, and has been for me. And when does she get to have what she wants?

Now I'm having problems on the links between all this, but I'm an easygoing guy. Meat and fish - life goal fulfillment - sure... I can see the link...

And while I would argue her point on a factual level, I am trying desperately to avoid my standard and trained response to actually look at what she is saying and I try to make the leap to figure out what she is REALLY talking about...

But, however, I figure, OK, great! For the first time ever, Mrs_C will actually tell me what it is that she wants to do.

So I say "What is it that you would like to do? If my activities or the kids activities are denying you, we can move things around. What do you want to do and when?"

She has to think. Silence. Smoking cigarette.

After about five minutes she says "It doesn't matter anyway because we don't have the money to do it."

So I say "Well, pretend we did. How about just telling me and together we can find a way!"

Five more minutes. She says she's going to get a drink. Another smoke.

"Well, some dental work. And go on a trip someplace warm together."

I'm still missing something.

I ask "How does not eating fish and meat prohibit either of these. And how does going exercising 3 times a week for one and a half hours each time prohibit these. And how does preparing food twice a week for about an hour prohibit these goals?"

She says "You're just not getting it. You're not listening to what I'm saying."

So I ask "Didn't you tell me for years that I should get into shape and exercise for health reasons? Didn't you tell me to take [our son] exercising because you were worried he might turn into a couch potato?"

She says "Yeah, but when I told you you should exercise and eat differently you never did it."

I respond "Well, I had acute fibromyalgia and muscle spasms that were so bad they threatened to damage my spine - how would I have gone exercising then? And you were the one who demanded I buy more pre-prepared foods because you didn't want to cook."

She says "Oh just drop it, you don't want to understand." and then tries to walk away.

I rebutted with a plan to change the structure of how we do things and and our schedule and such and she countered with accusations I wasn't being sincere.

And on it went for about another hour.

Eventually we agreed to alter houshold schedules somewhat and change part of their diet so that there would be more crossover with my food so that they were eating more healthily too (more on the pre-prepared food crossover later).

At around midnight Mrs_C got paged - she was on call and there was a mechanical failure at her work facility that she needed to take care of.

She says she'll call with an estimate of how long we'll be so we can decide whether to watch a DVD we had.

She calls at 12:30 and says she'll be either a half-hour or an hour.

She says we shouldn't watch the DVD, but to take a nap and maybe we might "get together" when she arrives home.

I go to bed.

She arrives home at 2:30am - I hear her and look at the clock and fall right back asleep.

She jumps in bed and snuggles up. I'm quite groggy and try to wake up. In a very short time (the clock said 2:34) she all of a sudden shoves me away, and rolls in an abrupt motion with her back facing me.

I wiggle over, put my arm around her and say sorry - i'm a little groggy.

She turns, pushes me away, and says quite loudly some things about me not wanting to have sex with her. Accusing me of having no interest and asking if I maybe jerked off before she got home (not a subject or accusation that has ever been an issue before). And then she gets really nasty.

Mean and nasty until 5 am.

Finally sleep.

We get up late. I suggest we go together to do the shopping for the next week. She wants to have a shower first. When she comes out of the shower (right beside the rec room) she announces she's going upstairs to change.

I know I'm supposed to scurry after her like a dog, but I don't want to.

I remain on the couch in the rec room. I'm actually in fear that this will set her off again. That it will prompt another "discussion".

But I don't want to run behind her and hover about and be jump on command, however unspoken.

She was a little non-plussed when she arrived back down to see what I was doing, but let it go.

We went to the grocery store.

It has been ok since then (whooee 2 days).

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On the dietary crossover. Last night Mrs_C tells me part of the reason that she wants to have their diets fit closer to mine is so that she can just heat up the food I make for myself instead of cooking if she's in a hurry or doesn't feel like cooking.

Healthy living at its finest.

Addendum (added after original post)

Just for the record, Mrs_C is not lazy. She is extremely hard working. Except for cooking. Mrs_C has a thing about food and cooking. She has said on a bunch of occasions over the last 2 decades: Wouldn't it be great if we didn't have to eat. Think of all the time we'd save.