Well, agreeing to stay was a waste of time

The conversation described in the Thursday, September 29, 2005 post Apartment hunting: the aftermath ocurred on the last weekend of August.

It is now the middle of October.

Staying was pretty much a waste of time.

It worked better from a financial standpoint - two more months of shared expenses, not having to buy all the inevitable items for independent living, and god knows whatever other unforeseen expenses.

It works for the kids, I suppose - a couple more months of everyone still under the same roof.

Mrs_C has stopped ripping into me regularly. For someone who said she had no idea that she was constantly berating me, it sure stopped in a hurry when I said I wanted to leave - like a light switch it stopped.

The relationship is now almost without substance - except for parenting. We have always done that well.

Have you ever been on a business trip or something where you are temporarily sharing accomodation with another adult whom you are not friends with, but are on polite terms with? That pre-naturally calm, polite, over-polite consideration you give to your temporary roommate so as to not cause any offence.

That's what it's like.

I still don't think she wants to be with me. I think she just wants to see if we can be adequate companions.

She avoids discussions about us, or about feelings.

However, the home renovation express just keeps on rolling.

I have refused to pay for any of the stuff related to the new renovations. In the past I rang up credit cards and lines of credit to pay for it. Now I'm paying down debt and hoarding cash in the event of a split.

This sucks.

It's empty, and it's hollow.