Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The One Thing She Did Wrong

Kristin wrote a comment on my last post that caused me to think for awhile, and I want to thank Kristin for making me think and develop an answer to the impression she gained.

I want to share some of the exchange with you because it provides a different frame of reference to analyse Mrs_C's thinking. Kristin had not read some of the other posts first, so the history was not readily apparent. (I don't want anyone, especially Kristin, to be under the impression that I am posting this in a retributive manner - I am grateful for having been caused to review my thinking from another perspective).

Hi Cadbury ... first time here; but I know you won't mind :)

I read the highlighted comment as the extension of an apology.


that quote:

"I thought you loved me so much you would never leave me, so I didn't ever consider what I might be doing to you with what I said and did."


Kristin posted a short while later with a different impression of Mrs_C's position.

My response and thoughts:

Kristin, when i received your post, i assumed that you might not have read through the entire blog.

but i wasn't sure

so i went back and read my last post "Mrs_C quote of the decade" and re-read Mrs_C's statement from the lens/filter your statement provided

to be honest, i think that mrs_c's comment was meant as an apology of sorts... or at least an explanation of her behaviour.

mrs_c has only admitted to making 3 mistakes in her life (outside of "professional" mistakes in some specific task or job she was doing [oh, i picked the wrong colour for the kitchen. oh, i should have started supper earlier. oops, wrong turn]).

i think her statement is as far as she can go toward an apology

i finally pinned mrs_c down on a response to the question: name one thing you believe you have done wrong during our marriage, or one problem that is your fault or that you are responsible for

her answer:

I shouldn't have been so hard on you or been so mean to you about the things you did. It was wrong of me to be that mean.

Once again, Mrs_C's only failing is to have been less magnanimous about my abject failures than she should have been.

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