Monday, January 07, 2008

gloves

you know something that pisses me off?

gloves

my children's gloves to be exact. or more exactly, their lack of gloves at my stbx-wife's house.

i went to pick son up this morning to drive him to school. he comes out without his gloves. i send him back to get them.

he can't find them. his mother is up and she can't find them either. they can't seem to find any gloves.

when i left that house there was a box full of gloves and mitts for every occasion. in sizes to fit each member of the household. in different colours. some were brand new and were in the big plastic container just as spares. along with spare scarves and touques.

you see, my kids were forever losing their gloves. mine kept disappearing because the stbx would always steal mine whenever she lost hers because my gloves were always where i put them - oddly enough, in my goddamned coat pocket.

my kids were forever leaving them at school. my stbx was leaving them at work, at her sister's and at her mother's. then, her mother and her sister, were to cheap to buy their own fucking gloves, would wear the gloves that i had bought for my family and when challenged would proclaim them as their gloves. in fact one time, the stbx took my gloves and left them at her sister's. when i saw her sister wearing them a week or two later i mentioned (very mildly and very politely) that they were mine. her sister insisted that she had bought them... until i pointed out that the gloves had a little tag on the inside that said [my first name]. you see i was sick of my stbx stealing my gloves and insisting they were hers, or giving them to my son because she couldn't be bothered to go downstairs to the box of spare gloves - mine were always handy in the closet in my pocket. anyway, my mom has a sewing machine that does letters and made me some tags to sew in. sister-in-law looked, and they indeed had my name inside. wife and sister-in-law got all huffy.

wife ripped me a new asshole after her sister left for embarrassing her sister, and why couldn't i just leave it alone... blah, blah, blah

and

now...

now somehow they don't have any gloves in that house anymore.

did i mention that i have spare gloves for myself and each kid at my apartment? and that i carry spare gloves and touques in my vehicle for the times they inevitably forget?

assholes

i should let them fucking freeze sometime

it just pisses me off. i have never lost a pair of gloves. or a touque. myself, that is.

historically they have managed to lose them in a single day - sometimes in less than an hour. sometimes i would go over to the school and just go pick up all the shit my children had lost at school. one time i found a pair of my missing leather gloves at the school - when i inquired i found out stbx had given them to son (as described above).

yeah

my blood pressure is up.

breathe in

breathe in

exhale

repeat

did i mention that the same thing would happen with my stbx-wife's keys? i used to have to keep spares of all their fucking keys around because she could never put her keys in a consistent place. like her pocket, or on the fucking little rack of key hooks right by the entrance door. i forgive the kids to an extent, but she's a goddamned adult.

recently she was missing her car keys for two weeks. then son put on one of his spare coats and found her keys in it, you see she would wear his coats and go outside and smoke because she would have put her coat somewhere other than, oh, maybe the closet in the fucking front entrance - and so she wore his coat. and he wouldn't wear it because it smelled like cigarette smoke. and so her keys were missing for two weeks because she's too much of an asshat to keep her shit together [uncharitable expletive loaded descriptions of stbx deleted from this spot].

son has only lost one set of my apartment keys to date. he thinks they are in his room at the house...

gloves

fuck

mutter

9 comments:

SignGurl said...

I so hear you on the glove issue. I've finally trained my kids to put them into their sleeves when they take off their coat.

We have a box of extra gloves and mittens. I'd share with you if your kids could keep them :)

My husband can never find his keys either. I've tried to teach him to always put them in the same place so he knows where they are. But you know the saying, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

Big Pissy said...

Wow! This sounds like a post I could have written! ;-)

I don't blame you for being so pissed...especially at your stbex.

cadbury_vw said...

signgurl, pissy: thank-you for making me feel sane and not all picky about this kind of thing

my sink may not always be clear (a stbx criticism), but i am sooooooo safety conscious. i have ranted in the past (i think) about the safety kit in the car, and how the stbx took it out of her car because it "took up room" in the trunk (not that the trunk was ever full so it was a real issue)

one thing to remember is that it gets to be -40C around here. with a high wind chill, skin can freeze in under two minutes

quality winter gear is essential!!!

i figured i was being reasonable of their needs and worldview/action sets by just accepting that they weren't that careful with gloves and stuff and by always having lots of spares around

Sicilian said...

Mr. C. . . . you have a point, but I sure wouldn't let any of the parties mentioned know how much it ticks you off. . . .of course, they probably already know it . . . . . I know it is a safety issue, but don't you think a kid your son's age can be held responsible for keeping up with his stuff . . . . he isn't going to always have someone to keep up with his gloves, keys, and so on. . . .
Consequences of one's actions can be a great teacher.
Ciao

terry said...

and i know you know this already, but this is about so much more than gloves and keys.

i feel you, completely. this kind of thing makes me crazy too.

i'm always making sure i take care of myself and those i'm responsible for. why can't they at least attempt to do the same? or at least not be so blatant in their decision NOT to take care?

Wien. said...

Seriously, Coconut just came back from her visit with her dad. When unpacking her things I found only one glove. She only brought home one glove. Where was her ski jacket? Her dad decided to keep it. It used to be his 6 years ago, forgot about it until he saw it again 12 days ago. I hope that every time he puts it on he see's Coconut's name tag sewed on the inside collar and feels at least the slightest twinge of guilt.
Never.

Our ex spouses must have been related in previous lives.

w.

Balloon Pirate said...

Let it go, Dude.
Let it go.

They have a system that works for them: You buy the gloves, they lose the gloves, you get upset and buy them gloves, they lose the gloves...

It sounds like they're willing to trade personal responsibility for your anger, especially since they get gloves out of the deal. How willing are you to keep doing this? Including the anger part?

What are you getting from your anger? You must be getting something from it, or else you wouldn't do it.

Yes, I know it's bitterly, frostbite-inducingly cold where you are. They know that, too, don't they? If they don't they should. And they'll certainly learn it by walking around without gloves for a while, won't they?

The point I'm making here (and it's for me as much as for you) is that you're making their problem your problem. And they're perfectly willing to let you do that.

They're ok with not having gloves. They're all old enough to know the dangers of walking around without gloves, and they're still ok with it. Why do you think that is?

And maybe it will take a trip to the ER and the possibility of losing a fingertip to get them to really internalize this. And yes, that's a tough way to learn a lesson, but if that's what it takes for them to learn it, who are you to deprive them of this lesson?

And here's a painful truth: just because it's your son and/or daughter doesn't mean they don't need to learn it. You learned it instinctively. Good for you. They haven't.

To paraphrase Mark Twain: A man who carries a cat by its tail learns a lesson he won't learn any other way.

Let it go, Dude.
Let it go.

yeharr

Honi said...

well our winters do not get that cold cold for long.. so .. gloves are only an issue for motorcycling here... we are key misplacers at our house though lol.. I can relate to that...

t_cole said...

1. I agree with Balloon Pirate 115%
2. for some reason (knocking on wood) my kids do not lose gloves, scarves or hats. And they do wear them frequently. I am counting my blessings on this one...

t