On Affairs and on Fear

Mrs_C has accused me of having an affair when I was on my trip in Asia/Pacific this summer.

It is a false accusation.

She has begun accusing me of having other affairs.

Never happened.

In her more lucid moments she says she doesn't really think I have had an affair. She then justifies it by saying she is just exhibiting her anxiety.

I have said it is a piss poor method of communication.

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Mrs_C says she is concerned that because I am slimmer and fitter that I will have more motivation and opportunity to have affairs or to decide to leave her.

I am also younger than Mrs_C (6 years) and she has always had some insecurity about that.

She keeps referencing some study she heard somwhere about people splitting up after one partner loses a lot of weight.

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She has accused me of hitting her more than once. I asked when. She referenced the recent incident and the time I moved/pushed her aside from the door when she tried to block me from going to a business meeting. She said "There were others times too!"

I asked her to tell me what those times were. She said she didn't want to be dredging up the past. I said that it was important to me personally to know what she was referencing, because I do not recall anything even remotely physical other than those two incidents. She refused to say, I said I thought she was making shit up.

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She said that I was insensitive for only referencing my own reaction to what I had done immediately after I struck her. She said I was only concerned about my own fellings, and not about hers, and asked why I didn't ask her about her feelings. I referenced the three times I raised the issue (immediately after the incident, a couple of days later, and a week later). I asked her how she was feeling about it each time.

In a moment of tit-for-tat I asked her why she hadn't asked me about my feelings any of the 3 times she has struck me repeatedly with closed fists... She said that it was typical of me to dredge up the past and how were we going to move on if I just kept on bringing up every negative moment in our marriage.

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We had a "discussion" Friday from 10 pm until 3 am Saturday. We agreed to talk more the next day. She awakened me at 4 am by yelling at me and hurling her pillow at me as I was sleeping - the impact is what woke me up - I guess the yelling too.

She was mad because at 3 am, after a 5 hour rant, we had agreed to sleep because I couldn't stay awake anymore and we were going in circles in the conversation, I had not kissed her good-night.

I now dutifully make sure I kiss her good night each night.

I am not very proud that fear motivates me to kiss my wife good-night.