weekend away

I was able to get a little time with a chiropractor who has cracked me a couple of times. My pain still hasn't gone away, but it is a little less. It is quite a sharp pain - and different from other pain i have felt, so it is not as easy to put away. Or maybe I'm just not used to living in pain anymore.

I know that at least my skin is more sensistive now than it used to be, so maybe i just feel this pain more sharply. I hope that a combination of treatment and exercise makes it go away soon. This is now a week of substantive discomfort.

My massage therapist and her magic hands are due back any day now...

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Went away for the weekend. We were going to leave at noon on friday, but the work blow-out had continuing repercussions that had to dealt with. More words, more lines, more strategy - more hand-holding. I'm ok with the hand-holding. The lady I was writing for is my friend, and she needed my strength. She needed to know that someone understood her and her feelings. Her husband stood with her, and tried his best to protect her, but he doesn't have the words.

We left mid-afternoon. Smitten's daughter had some stuff that had to be done before we left, so the late departure worked out well.

It was a good drive. I shared my writing on the work stuff with her.

We talked about that and many things.

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I had booked us into a grand old railway hotel in another city. I had gone up from the cheapest rooms available, because I didn't feel like spending time in a cheap room. It only cost $20 more a night, and it was completely worth it. The room was comfortable and well appointed with period charm - instead of being generically hotelish. The weekend away was a bit of a financial stretch for both of us, but we had not been away in a long time (since November...). I have cheques arriving soon, so I will only be tight for a week or so.

It's funny that since November is a long time since getting away. In my entire 18 years with stbx-Mrs_C we got away (just the two of us) a grand total of twice. I have now exceeded that total.

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It is actually inaccurate to say that stbx-Mrs_C and I only got away twice in all that time. In addition to the two I reference above, when I was dating stbx-Mrs_C she suggested we have a getaway weekend to visit her sister and brother-in-law in the small town they lived in at the time. We arrived at their place and before I even got my bag put away he was demanding that I get on the roof of their house to re-roof and re-shingle it. I had met them once before. I had no warning that I would be doing roofing. It was sprung on me the moment I arrived. I was nice to my then girlfriend and her family. I spent Friday evening, Saturday, and most of Sunday re-roofing their house. Late Saturday I went in the house to get a drink at one point and cool off (blazing August heat [it gets near 100 F here in the summer sometimes in that area] from a roof all day with no shade). I had been sitting for about 10 minutes when brother-in-law came storming in literally yelling that he wasn't going to do the job himself and couldn't anybody else do some goddamned work around here. So I put down my glass and went back up. That weekend we removed all the old shingles, re-tarpapered and reshingled the roof on the house, built trusses, put them up, and did the rest roofing on a new 12x15 porch he'd added.

stbx-Mrs_C, her sister, and her mother (who was with us on the trip) went to town shopping while we worked. it doesn't get dark until getting on 9 pm so we worked until dark and then clean-up. we ate on the roof and came off only to go to the bathroom.

You will have to forgive me if I don't consider it a getaway weekend to add to the above mentioned 2.

for the record sister-in-law apologised for the imposition, as did stbx-Mrs_C, but neither of them intervened. looking back on it i should have just refused to continue working, so in that sense it's my own fault. i should have stood up for myself.

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The weekend was much colder than we expected. It was blustery and butterly cold and shitty. We had intended to do a lot of walking on the riverbank and through a trendy area of town and such.

It didn't work out that way.

On friday we went to go to a funky chinese place I knew and it was closed due to an illness of one of the family members... so we went down the block to a place that looked interesting that we had just walked past. It was cool - tapas and trendy. We spent more than intended, but what the hell. It was fun. We had a bunch of different kinds of martinis and drinks (mixing alcohol - always a good thing ;-) along with the weird haute cuisine...

I had forgotten my swim trunks so we didn't go swimming or hottubbing that night (no downtown stores were open good friday evening and we weren't about to drive to a WalMart). Saturday was a slow starting day of lounging and laziness. We went out to get me some new swimwear. As usual I was looking for the cheapest shit I could find. But it all sucked from a fashion and looks standpoint. I made the mental break from budgetwear and decided to spring for some decent looking swim trunks instead of the baggy shit that makes me look about 50 lbs heaveir than i am. For your edification I have included a picture of some Tyr swim trunks that are very similar to what i bought. I look really good in them.

We tried to pick up some other things for Smitten's daughter, but that didn't go well. The mall was really packed and the line-up at the Junior la Senza store was really long. Smitten isn't very patient with lines and such.

The whole mob in the mall thing was not a good scene. Being cold and shitty, everyone was indoors instead of out. We left without getting the stuff.

We did stop in at a couple of really nice boutiques with various objets d'art. They were fun.

We went to pick up some alcohol to enjoy in the room that night. We weren't going to spend bar/lounge prices on our budget. We were also unsure as to whether we wanted to hit any of the live acts that were playing that night.

The day had really lost it's original direction and the weather was really bitterly shitty.

Smitten couldn't decide what she wanted to buy for alcohol.

Without a blow by blow - this whole situation set off some really serious triggers in me. I was in complete panic mode by this time and not having any fun. When the day got off track like this, and the weather was bad, and the shopping was bad, and the budget was tight, and I was with stbx-Mrs_C - and she became indecisive on stuff... I would be in trouble. I would inevitably be the responsible party for everything being wrong and would suffer for it.

I recognised what was going on in my head and took a few steps inside the liquor store to calm myself down. When we finished our choices and went out to the vehicle I explained my fear to Smitten. I talked about feeling that the day had gone off the rails and the triggers to my anxiety.

She listened and came back with such a completely different response. She said that she just sometimes had indecisive moments and felt badly that I had to hang around while she was being indecisive.

It was weird for me.

No mega conversation. No attack. No escalation.

Just a short discussion and a reassurance that she still wanted to be with me. She then asked about where we should go for supper.

And that was it.

No drama. No spaz. No nothing.

It was mindblowing.

I suggested another restaurant I knew. We went there. It is run by some "just off the boat" Vietnamese people, so it was quite authentic food. We had a wonderful time over dinner, excellent food. Formica tables and basic chairs, but incredibly clean (possibly the cleanest bathrooms in a non five star place I've ever seen).

We went back to the hotel and soaked in the hottub for awhile. After which we went back to the room and enjoyed some brandy while lounging and cuddling and such.

Sunday brunch was excellent and the drive home went well also.

It was a very relaxing time. Easy flow, easy conversation.

A well spent weekend.