are you the same person?
am i the same person?
I have lost a lot of weight. People see me differently because of that.
Does changing your physical self change the essential you as a person?
Does changing your activities and actions make you a different person? If you didn't do things you wanted to before, for whatever reason, and now you do them - are you a different person?
Do your actions constitute who you are? even if you have the secret area inside of you, if you don't act - is that secret self really you? If you are with someone who doesn't love the same things as you, and so you don't do what you love - does that make you a different person than if you did do those things?
These questiona are prompted by 2 things: Signgurl and her transformation and discussion of those changes and a discussion I had with Smitten.
I told her that i was mad at her ex-husband the other weekend.
I was mad at him while we were shopping. I was angry that he would have never taken the time to experience the joy of getting her new clothes. I was mad at him for denying her the joy of receiving such gifts, of denying her the appreciation of him watching her as she smiled.
I was mad at him for being so stupid as to have let this woman go. I thought to myself "What the fuck? What the fuck, man? What could be running through your head as to not do everything in your power to keep this woman with you?"
I talked to Smitten about it.
Among other things she said "I'm not the same person as I was. I don't know if I would have shined the way I do with you. The way you make me blossom. I don't know. I didn't ever experience it. I was dead before - numb - and I'm alive now. So I don't know if he could have the same experience as you, because i don't know if i could have."
"I was a different person."
was she?
am I?
can you be a different person?
How to Beat Sex Addiction
3 years ago
7 comments:
That's such a deep question....
I can only answer it from experience...and in my experience: yes, you can be a different person.
I am.
Like Smitten...being with the wrong man doesn't bring out the best in a person.
Being with the right one does....as does having self-confidence, self-worth...whatever you want to call it.
Sorry this rambles...I'm still medicated. ;-)
I agree with big pissy.. to the core people do not change but people become better . their best is brought out by being nutured and loved..
I tried to believe that I was the same person, but I know that I'm not. How can I be when I've lost an entire person?
Self confidence has done wonders for the person I was but could never let out due to low self esteem.
Like all people, parts of me have changed but most of me is still the same.
Mr. C. . . .I agree with the others about the core person you are. . . . however I too believe that being with someone who really cares. . . . I can't explain it, but it really has changed me. For the first time in my life. . . . with no prodding. . . . my husband cooked supper. . . . so when I came home. . . I just sat down and ate. His love shines in ways that I could never imagine.
So I get what Smitten is saying. . . and I get what you are saying. . . . some things are so different and yet the deep things are just the same.
Ciao
Pissy's right - it is a deep question. and one i have pondered many times - since my college days.
and what most have said is true - it has to do with the people you surround yourself with. and people cannot help themselves, they treat attractive people differently. so the thinner you (me) is treated differently than the heavier you (me). in being seen differently and treated differently - you act and react differently.
there was once someone in my life that brought out the absolute best me there was. when i was with him, i was the smartest, funniest, wittiest, most beautiful me possible.
all other 'versions' of me pale in comparison to the woman i was with that man.
this is a very long conversation for me. something i have spent years and years analyzing and contemplating.
we'd all like to be able to say, "I'm still me" after a body image change. But I have found there is not a lot of truth in that.
in fact, i think that is possibly one of the biggest contributing factors of my own personal looniness (is that a word?)
my weight has been all over the charts. up and down. my image of myself has followed it. i do not have a solid, healthy sense of self. (please don't tell anyone i said that out loud)
that's all i can share for now. but you get the jest of it.
t
I was a very different person before the hotband came into my life. I like to think we evolve constantly.
CP
i know i'm a different person now than i was when i was married... and definitely different from when i was in the throes of the sadness over the end of that ridiculous relationship.
i'd like to think i'm wiser now, but sometimes, i'm not so sure... ;)
i know i'm happier. i know i'm living more true to myself than i ever have.
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