i've been looking at houses
i keep wondering what's the point. without a settlement i can't do anything.
stbx-Mrs_C will be back this weekend sometime. we'll see what transpires.
i told the lawyer to get everything ready. i'm a little pissed because i have been phoning her (the lawyer) since last week with a question and she hasn't gotten back to me yet.
she's a junior lawyer in the firm i've used all my life, and the firm my parents have used since the '60s
i am a very good friend with the senior partner, but hesitate to complain quickly.
my dad is prepared to buy a house on my behalf and then rent it to me for a month or two until the settlement is done - then i would buy it from him
there is a house that would do me perfectly that is coming up for sale. i don't want to miss it.
it is in my price range (approx $135,000). it meets my specifications for number of bedrooms (3) and bathrooms (2). it is not far from Smitten and is a couple of blocks from one of daughter's better friends.
it has a decent yard, is in a reasonable neighbourhood, and has space for a garage. it is a small house (about 841 sq ft main floor) with a basement. it has room and a structure that is suitable for an addition if i wanted.
i don't want to make myself beholden to my Dad, and have been trying to explain my concerns about the transaction and the relationship he and i have. i'm just trying to face it straight on.
my Mom was going to participate in the transaction, but has decided it is too much for her to handle. she is also not quite as happy with the way i have been living and spending lately.
she figures that if i am poor enough to ask for help, i'm too poor to go on trips to the music festival and stay in the hotel we did and such. she is also concerned about my job prospects if things go bad during the final conflict.
i told her that i would keep my job (union) unless we were completely wiped off the map, but i guess the fact that i had such extensive plans for disaster said more to her than my assurances. at least that's how she presented it to my Dad.
she also is concerned my Dad could have a debilitating stoke or die between now and a settlement and doesn't want to do clean-up on matters. I told my Dad that the best solution would be a step by step set of understandings as to how it would be dealt with that would be prepared by his lawyer (the senior partner, not the one that doesn't call back...).
blah, blah, blah
i wish i had a house
i'm sick of living in the apartment. i'm sick of hanging in between. i'm sick of my credit card payments. i want them paid off.
i'm sick of stbx-Mrs_C still being able to jerk my leash with this last bit of shit to deal with.
I want to move on.
i want my own place.
“All I want is for the baby to be healthy!”
8 months ago
2 comments:
First. . . your parents will never understand that you can do trips and things on the cheap. You don't have to spend a lot of money to have fun, and because they are close by. . . . they have more knowledge of your comings and goings than is normal.
I would be careful that they both understand the money stuff. It doesn't seem that big of a deal to do what you are saying, however it is important that they (especially your mom) understand exactly how it will all come down.
I am a bit surprised at housing prices where you are. That is a pretty small house for the price tag. You could buy a very large ranch style house for that price here.
In the back of my mind. . . . I am thinking that your mom is not as crazy about Smitten as you are.
Ciao
my Mom was dirt poor when she was young - really dirt poor - 12 kids in her family. she is a child of the depression. she and my Dad were always pretty tight when it came to money.
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i personally find there to be a substantive difference between going on a short trip to a music festival and making an arrangement surrounding the house and mortgage. $100 or $200 won't make a hill of beans of difference on $140,000. i told my Dad that if doing an arrangement with them meant i had to abase myself and act like i'm broker than i am, i won't. i am making ends meet.
they are the ones who previously gave me "instructions" to live a good life doing these things that were unavailable as options before
but i think mom is feeling put out because she didn't get to do all these things because they were broke, and at one level is bugged that i might be able to have both the festivals and fun and the house because they are going to anchor me through this
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Dad is a mega-weenie. Especially when it comes to money. He still has his personal accounts and records of income and spending dating back to the late '40s... tightassed, but not a prick about money
he says mom is just stressed about mortgages and money - historically. he says if she didn't want him to do it, she would have told him not to. he says she is just withdrawing because she is having issues coping witht he idea of a mortgage - he says she has always been stressed when dealing with any large debt amount
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as for how the money works - i suspect it will actually be Dad who tells me how it will all work out. he'll do the papers after discussion with me and then i'll sign them and cut the post-dated cheques or automatic withdrawal forms
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the house would have gone for between 80-100K last summer
this area is in a huge upswing and prices have finally gone toward national averages
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i'm not sure it's Smitten she's not crazy about - but certainly not crazy about the lifestyle with Smitten
Mom and Dad have school, university, career, marriage, house, kids - middle class cycle as their expression of "the good"
i've always been a little outside the safe track they have desired for their kids...
this is one more time with me deviating from the norm (or rather, their norm)
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