boring update

work is piling up at work and in my activities outside of work. i am letting blogging slide. not because it is a low priority, but because all the other stuff is killing my ability to write anything but informational briefs - no creativity

looking at houses

sent more documents to stbx-Mrs_C about the shape of the settlement. told my lawyer to file the initial paperwork for the divorce. the petition to the court is being filed.

pushing stbx-Mrs_C pretty hard on the settlement front - in writing and verbally. i want it fucking settled.

once again it's my fault (according to her). i've been sending her documentation and settlement offers since last year (she hasn't responded yet - except verbally). i finally put deadlines into the documents. she didn't respond. I called her up and demanded to know the answer to the question of timeline. she says "well, all of a sudden it's in a hurry for you. i was taking my cue from you and proceeding at a leisurely pace. it didn't seem to matter to you."

i just about fucking lost my mind. but i just repeated the question "what's the timeline?" she said she's supposed to be seeing the bank this week and is seeing her new lawyer(s) on friday. she dumped the last ones because they wouldn't do what she wanted them to do. my lawyer says it's probably because if she asked them to do the stuff she told me she asked them to do they could be cited for professional misconduct - that is - they know they have no chance of presenting a successful argument (for her requests) under our jurisdiction's laws with relation to custody or property settlement - so they wouldn't do it.

we'll see what happens with these ones. if she doesn't give me a reasonable response this week i am going to apply to the courts to have the joint property settled.

after we hung up on the call she phones me back and says "so is this it? after this conversation is done is the only thing we're going to have to say to each other is 'here's the kids'?" i said "yeah - pretty much" [silence] "ok - bye" and i hung up.

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just found more evidence in literature for my theory on intestinal malabsorption syndrome related to Smitten's medical issues. based on the literature review she has been taking vitamin courses (her own decisions based on my work - i said she should see a doctor) for some vitamins and nutrients she would be lacking if my guess is correct as to the location of the villi/mucosal damage.

she is busy and hasn't made the doctor visit a priority. the doctor didn't do anything or find anything previously. she also thinks this her doctor is more in the pill pusher zone and might not be open to this theory.

her diet and vitamin intake has altered based on my suggestions since i first started looking at all this. i have profiled the kinds of things she likes to eat based on my guesses about her sensitivities and the "sugars" various foods contain and have advised her of a set of dietary elements that would (if i'm right) lead to good health and agree with her palate. i also tried to factor in the sorts of things her kids will eat.

her reynaud's is the best it has been in decades. she didn't have to wear long underwear for anything but the coldest parts of this year. even her ex-husband remarked on the difference in her hand temperature and the fact that she didn't wear gloves as much.

incidence of abdominal bloating (not much externally - but quite uncomfortable) is much less. she is able to eat even things like some cheeses i have researched based on my guesses and they have caused no reactions. she feels much better - her seasonal affective disorder is less weighing - she had her most active February in at least 10 years.

one of the obvious artifacts of positive effectis that the terribly deep nail ridges she has had for decades are stopping. when you look at and feel her fingernails and toenails there is a radical difference right in the middle as they grow out. the new growth is smooth and shiny. the old growth is ridges and scuffed looking.

part of that may be attributable to mood lifts because i am in her life (her theory), but i am resting on the other changes to diet and such.

she had let things slide pretty bad. her medical troubles were just a big hassle and she just let it go because she was tired of it and didn't want to be a hassle for anyone to change their decisions or what they were making because of her.

before she had to guess - sometimes one thing would cause an issue, sometimes another. she couldn't figure out what the commonality could be between all these disparate foods.

i am pleased with the obvious success. it is both wonderful to help someone i love, and ego gratifying to be right. i like being right. being right about something this significant and that had defied solution previously is very ego gratifying.

in my marriage i wasn't right about very much... even when i was right.

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I am helping Smitten.

She appreciates it very much.

My effort and thought is valued.

I am valued - and loved.