time alone, daughter, dance, work-out and dinner

had some time alone on Friday evening. Smitten had her kids. My son was out of town on a school trip, daughter was with her Mom at stbx-Mrs_C's sister's place. I had asked daughter to go out for supper, but she declined a Friday evening get together.

i had talked to a couple i know from work about going to a blues festival, but it didn't work out.

i spent the evening clearing up my place. every little bit Mrs_C comes up with a new box of stuff and i don't have much space. part of what she is doing is clearing out household stuff and just putting it in boxes for me to deal with...

whatever

anyway, between books (including her old books she doesn't want) and other stuff she's ditching i had a pile of boxes to go through. so i did. the excitement of Friday night when you're single...

time alone was good. time to think. time to listen to music.

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daughter called me at about 10:30pm Friday and said she'd like to go out on Saturday. so we did. went for breakfast/brunch and then did some shopping and spent time at a pet store looking at puppies and fish and stuff.

it was a good day.

she told me her uncle had gotten all gunned up drinking and how she didn't care for it much. he's not a fun drunk - never has been.

she told me that her Mom had told her that she could decorate her own room, but then vetoed daughter's plan and is making all the decisions and doing it all herself (sound familiar?). daughter declared "When you get your house, I'm going to decorate my room exactly as I want."

I said "Well, yeah... subject to negotiation. Probably your way, but if something is really off from my perspective I'm not going to just let you do it to be opposite because your Mom is making all the decisions on your room at the house. However, if i have a problem with the colours you pick, well... it's just paint. I can always put sheets of 1/8th inch drywall over top and we can paint that if I have a really big problem with your colours and think we'll need to recover."

Daughter thought about it for a minute and said "OK"

It was a fun day.

On Sunday morning she called me to get me to pick up half of a pie she'd baked.

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on Saturday we went to another dance with the dance club. we went early this time. we had discussed with the other couple about whether they could go - we didn't expect them to make it as they said they were expecting company. they did not.

the dance was fabulous. it is casual, so it wasn't the setting or anything - it's in an old style Church hall - lots of wood - a nice one - but nothing to write home about. dancing was fabulous.

i am learning enough of the steps of the cha cha and merengue that i feel competent and can move to the music and can simply dance instead of thinking. they were playing a lot of good Latin tunes instead of some of the "white guy rhythms" they play sometimes... Latin dance is why i started this. i want to feel that energy - the life - the vitality.

after a couple of hours Smitten's hip started bothering her, so we left and went for a drink. it was a nice quiet time in a lounge nearby

she is so beautiful.

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on Sunday i went for an abbreviated work-out. i had been playing taxi all day for all my son's friends and didn't get my full time. just as well. the dance is stressing muscles i haven't used much before. i am sore (but not fibromyalgia sore). so i took it easier. i only did an hour on the elliptical instead of my usual 1.5 hours. i then did a bunch of upper body work.

i have been feeling more and more alive. bodily. i can feel my body and the blood in a way i haven't before.

it is a very raw and very powerful feeling. the dance on Saturday night, then the cardio, and then the weight lifting made me feel like a river with rapids. the roar of life in my veins was incredible.

between the joy of the dance - the physicality - the music - the woman - the love - the energy - the rhythm - the fulfillment of desire to dance - to move - and the intensity of the exercise - pushing myself when i wanted to end earlier - pushing the very inside edge of my limit to lift

i felt so alive

i picked up yet one more friend of son's, showered and went to Smitten's for supper. i had made a huge pot of chili and rice for son's friends - then i cleared out so they would have their space.

supper was annoyingly healthy - raw - steamed - broiled - a tiny bit of butter and a sprinkle of Parmesan on Kamut rotini

eating all that simple raw food just added to the rush

i have no idea of why. in February last year i said i felt sexy for awhile. this is so beyond that it is ridiculous.

the rush is so huge it is hard to contain myself on this side of excitement

while i am more tired today than yesterday - pushing myself on the weight training is taxing

i hope this continues

i like being this alive