no real pattern or point to this post - just some stuff that is wandering the corridors of my mind.
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how is it that stbx-Mrs_C could have been promulgating the story to my children about me trying to replace my existing family with smitten's, and then do the Bob the boyfriend over every day thing? be pushing son to spend time with bob the boyfriend at hockey games and stuff, and having bob the boyfriend driving daughter places when she specifically "forbade" me having Smitten do such things? stbx-Mrs_C said things like "I'm their mother, she [Smitten] isn't going to replace me, and i resent her trying to wiggle her way into my children's lives."
Smitten wasn't and didn't. I respected stbx-Mrs_C's feelings on the issue and went out of my way to make sure that i did not attempt to integrate Smitten in any manner like that.
Once again I listen to what she says and act on it. And then she doesn't live by her own demands or edicts herself.
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I still cannot get over the fact that now that i am on my own and have a theoretically higher cost structure, that i have more money to do stuff than before i split.
i have higher payments, too. my credit card payments are worth a chunk more, and i only earn a couple of hundred more per month than then.
i knew that i rushed to pay everything all the time because i felt guilty because of our marital fiction was that stbx-Mrs_C was paying the most. but it doesn't seem to actually have worked that way.
i just wonder why i have more money. i can't tell you with certainty, because every time i tried to do a budget with stbx-Mrs_C she would have a complete conniption fit on me.
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stbx-Mrs_C has told me a lot of times how she is mad that i "replaced" her, and "replaced" her so quickly.
before we split, stbx-Mrs_C told me about how she had this fantasy about how if i ever left her that we would see each other out somewhere. that she would have "lost all this weight" and she'd be "looking really hot" and i'd see her and be all sorry that i ever left her and that i'd want to get back together with her, but she'd say no - that i had my chance.
I think that the way things worked out were a little different than she imagined
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it kind of irks me that stbx-Mrs_C is seeing Bob.
why?
because i think she could do better than Bob.
but maybe she can't. maybe he's perfect for her. more on Bob in a day or two.
it also irks me because the first words out of stbx-Mrs_C's sister's mouth when stbx-Mrs_C told her i was looking at apartments (Aug '05) were "Well, Bob'll have you."
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just stuff
“All I want is for the baby to be healthy!”
8 months ago
3 comments:
Mr. C. . . Have you figured out that she is still controlling you by telling you what she wants and doing the very thing she asked you not to. If I were you. . . . I would be involving Smitten in my children's lives. . . . one of my thoughts. . . and trust me it weighed heavy. . . if my kids did not like the person. . . I did not want to live with a split household. . .even though my kids are gone for the most part. . . .I want harmony at holidays and happy times when we are together. . .
The money thing. . . I make 1/2 the money my X did. . . and lived much better. . . it was tight. . . lots of overtime. . . but just not having to fight over how much he spent was worth the whole divorce.
You are doing a great job. . . . keep it up. . . and I love that you are transparent in your blogs.
Ciao
So, Bob was in the picture (so to speak) before you even left?
she cannot irk and ire you like this without your permission.
let her and her wicked evil thoughts and ways go.
be done. have a cleansing ceremony, if you must. but extract her claws from your psyche.
You are so brave. I admire the HELL out of you. Keep fightin the good fight.
tc
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