some stuff stumbling around my brain

no real pattern or point to this post - just some stuff that is wandering the corridors of my mind.

----

how is it that stbx-Mrs_C could have been promulgating the story to my children about me trying to replace my existing family with smitten's, and then do the Bob the boyfriend over every day thing? be pushing son to spend time with bob the boyfriend at hockey games and stuff, and having bob the boyfriend driving daughter places when she specifically "forbade" me having Smitten do such things? stbx-Mrs_C said things like "I'm their mother, she [Smitten] isn't going to replace me, and i resent her trying to wiggle her way into my children's lives."

Smitten wasn't and didn't. I respected stbx-Mrs_C's feelings on the issue and went out of my way to make sure that i did not attempt to integrate Smitten in any manner like that.

Once again I listen to what she says and act on it. And then she doesn't live by her own demands or edicts herself.

----

I still cannot get over the fact that now that i am on my own and have a theoretically higher cost structure, that i have more money to do stuff than before i split.

i have higher payments, too. my credit card payments are worth a chunk more, and i only earn a couple of hundred more per month than then.

i knew that i rushed to pay everything all the time because i felt guilty because of our marital fiction was that stbx-Mrs_C was paying the most. but it doesn't seem to actually have worked that way.

i just wonder why i have more money. i can't tell you with certainty, because every time i tried to do a budget with stbx-Mrs_C she would have a complete conniption fit on me.

----

stbx-Mrs_C has told me a lot of times how she is mad that i "replaced" her, and "replaced" her so quickly.

before we split, stbx-Mrs_C told me about how she had this fantasy about how if i ever left her that we would see each other out somewhere. that she would have "lost all this weight" and she'd be "looking really hot" and i'd see her and be all sorry that i ever left her and that i'd want to get back together with her, but she'd say no - that i had my chance.

I think that the way things worked out were a little different than she imagined

----

it kind of irks me that stbx-Mrs_C is seeing Bob.

why?

because i think she could do better than Bob.

but maybe she can't. maybe he's perfect for her. more on Bob in a day or two.

it also irks me because the first words out of stbx-Mrs_C's sister's mouth when stbx-Mrs_C told her i was looking at apartments (Aug '05) were "Well, Bob'll have you."

----

just stuff