i was going to do a post...

except as i was writing it, instead of just telling you what was happening and how i was feeling, i was thinking about how to write the post in order to defend myself from my shadow, blog_surfer

i started wrting material that would look more at home in a political position paper - full of explanation and background and covering language to avoid attack, or to give myself cover in the event of attack

and it wasn't any fun

you see, blog_surfer has decided to start posting his rebuttals about me and this blog's content in the comments on other people's blogs (i imagine that's because i delete his stuff pretty quick off of here).

i also have a problem with leaving some of his wild and twisted interpretations of what i say without rebuttal - which leaves me in the original position of having to spend my time clarifying and explaining while under constant attack. that changes the nature of my blog from being a refuge and a place to explore my life and feelings to being yet another place where i am under attack - where i have to hide my feelings and thoughts because i am being attacked for those thoughts.

i imagine that pretty quick, in order to avoid the acrimony and weird crossposts to their blogs - to avoid the spillover and because of the discomfort that they might be attacked too - people will stop posting comments here. then there would be only two voices left - mine and blog_surfer's

or, if i close comments and leave it in moderated mode, it will limit comments because that is a big part of the culture and the circle - seeing what other people have said and being part of a thread of discussion. waiting for moderation kills an essential part of the life of a blog.

i do not understand a couple of things:

1) why blog_surfer won't set up a blog of his own to expound his views
1a) why blog_surfer chooses to just post here and now in other people's comment sections instead of setting up his own blog

2) why he has such a case on about me
2a) what is he getting out of this set of actions

there are two eventual possibilities:

1) i shut down this blog and stop blogging
2) he goes away

if i were to shut down this blog and start a new one, i assume that blog_surfer would be looking for me in a new incarnation and would simply resume his disruptive activities and comments

he shows no liklihood of going away and shows every sign of being obsessive, so him going away is not very likely

the third possibility not described above is to take this blog private and only allow users who have whitelisted blogger IDs to be able to see the blog

that would present some other problems with how i would like this blog to operate in the best of all worlds... i would like some online friends from another community to be able to freely come and check out what is going on in my life

i am considering these options at this time

[LATER EDIT]
By the way - this is in no way a "please beg me to stay" post. This is a "blog_surfer is right under my skin and is ruining what i want to get out of blogging" post. If I have missed a solution, please advise.
[/LATER EDIT]