what does half mean?
to me it means half
if one side gets less, then the other side gets more in any two way split
half
"To take from her is to take from them." was a comment on a previous posting.
is the phrase to take from cadbury is to take from them applicable as well?
i am living in an apartment. i am living an apartment instead of in a house because i was being easy on mrs_c and mindful of the kids. the kids don't like sharing a room here and mrs_c brings it up every time she can (with me, the kids, and anyone else). but i am doing this for the sake of stability. mrs_c is making it a cornerstone of her custody bid.
so me being nice to her is being played against me.
if i had asked for a faster settlement of my half of the property/assets i would be in a house with 3 bedrooms.
i think half means half.
she earns more than me because i stayed home with the kids for years. and yet i should let her walk away with the benefits of that again? do poopy diapers and school plays and kindergarten concerts count for nothing?
or is it because i am a man that all of a sudden the half rules change? i thought we all spent all that time talking about the value of raising children so that there would be some recognition of the value of child rearing. or is it different because i'm a guy?
i quote from my previous posting:
"i am standing square on the line defined by the law.
half is half."
and as for the kids suffering... are they suffering if i refuse to allow their mother to take them away from me during my week (unless it is a special occasion)? is my time with them worth nothing?
is it wreaking "vengeance" to finally say enough is enough? to say I have value as a human being and I will not allow her to trample me into the ground
is that vengeance?
is saying that i have given enough blood and tears to another human being vengeance?
NO!!!!!
FUCK HER!
when do i get to not have to meet her further than half way? when?
i understand that
"fuck her
i will get creative
she wants some burn?
i haven't even started"
implies a level of nastiness
but i'm unlikely to get there
i found out mrs_c was about to hit my daughter last week and my son had to intervene physically. i found out that she had squeezed daughter's arm so hard it left bruises and nail marks. my daughter apparently challenged her with the statement "are you going to turn into your mother now?" mrs_c's response "I don't beat you every day"
i took photos, but they didn't turn out such that you could see them and daughter didn't want me to retake the photos and i didn't want to push it.
one of the ladies in our office is a commisioner for oaths, so i am swearing out statements on the subject for documentation putposes.
10 comments:
Mr. C. . . . I mentioned to you that I felt the kids were in danger. . . I think that you need to intervene on their behalf. . .and yes. . . you are kind of getting what most women get because you stayed at home. . . I believe half is half and that you need the meanest lawyer in town to deal with her manipulations.
As far as Chelle's comments. . . I get some of what she is saying, but I hate all the cussing. . . turns into a raging biatch instead of making some really good points.
Ciao
chelle, a few questions:
1) in a split, are both people entitled to half?
2) is it an appropriate punishment to leave bruises?
3) should i not document instances of injury/violence against my children?
4) if i have the opportunity to avoid paying $30 per affidavit, does it make sense to go pay someone else? especially if the lady is our office manager that already knows many of the details of the situation, and is one of the emergency people/numbers my kids can call if they are ever stranded or need help?
5) other than blog_surfer/anonymous whom have i ever deleted a comment from?
this is an open call to anyone reading this (other than blog_surfer) to post here or on chelle's blog to say if I have deleted one of your comments
Sicilian:
yeah. you called it on her and the kids. i guess it was obvious it would start to head this way... but once again i hoped for the best.
I disagree with Chelle's comment that your kids are playing you & your wife against each other. Kids do that sort of thing to get what they want... but how is this helping them get what they want?
Besides... you're a pretty observant guy. I'm sure you know the tricks YOUR kids pull whey they are trying to play you. I sure know the tricks MINE pull! And unless you have evidence to the contrary, you have to believe your kids when they tell you that mom bruised them, etc. It's too serious to NOT treat as true.
I always wondered how long it would be until your wife had to find someone else to abuse since you were no longer there taking it. Follow through on this. You HAVE to. The kids need a safe haven.
Getting your half is NOT taking away from the kids. You are taking care of the kids too... you each deserve a fair portion of the assets to be able to do that. If you screw yourself in the settlement you are screwing the kids too. Remember that.
But I don't appreciate seeing you say "screw her". Not that she doesn't seem to deserve it... but it lessens you. It's a vindictive and ugly attitude to have. Strive for a FAIR settlement... not to screw her and get everything you can, and not to give her whatever she wants to try to just get it over with. Be fair... to her AND to yourself.
Cad...to answer your questions...
1. Yes, in a split, both people are entitled to half. BUT again, YOU chose to be the once to move out because YOU wanted the divorce. I am sure you will get your half when all is final.
2. No it is not appropriate punishment to leave bruises, but again, you do not know what happened before that instance that resulted in your wife grabbing hold of her arm. Has your wife ever intentionally hurt her children before?? Your kids totally disrespect her now, maybe she was being mouthy and your wife grabbed her arm. Don't jump to conclusions. I'm not saying it's right....just be careful what you accuse.
3. Of course you should document injury/violence IF you are certain that is what it is.....intentional.
4. See, Cad...you always leave out little details like this. That that office manager is closer to you than you implied. That makes sense to allow that person to help out then. Of course you would want to save some money. My point was...quit bringing people into this that don't need to be in it. Friends you havent' seen in years, family (because really, they dont need to know every detail) and of course, smitten. I firmly believe that she should NOT be giving you psychology papers and such to help you deal with this.
5. Read again what I said, I said, "You can delete my comment like you deleted Blog Surfer's, I don't care." I never said you deleted anyone elses. I am curious, however, as to why you keep deleting Blog Surfer's comments. They are not being rude or anything and have actually brought up some good points. If anything, I would think you would delete mind...since I am the one being a bitch....according to your friend. (Which of course, does not bother me!) :)
And finally, Sicilian....I am sorry you think I am a raging "biatch". I'm sorry you think the 3 or 4 words I used were horrible cuss words. Apparently that is all you saw in my comment and closed your mind after that. Cad's "Fuck her" comment didnt make him sounds like a raging ass?
Thanks for the comment in my defense, Blog Surfer. I take those kind of comments with a grain of salt. But I, too, wondered why Cad didn't defend me since I am not the only one to have ever cussed....lol
Whatever...not worth getting my panties in a wad over. :)
Chelle. . . I don't like Mr. C.'s cussing either. . . however. . . I try to look past it. . . and ignore that I hate the f word more than any. . . for you. . . you had some really good points, but it is a personal problem for me to see a really intelligent person talk like they don't know any other adjectives. . . nobody's problem but mine. . . and it comes from hearing a lot of it growing up. . . it takes major effort on my part to hold my words. . .
One more point about staying home and raising kids. . . I gave up career for my kids. . . I'd do it again. . . however when I divorced. . . I was like most women. . . I did not have the earning capacity that the X had. . . when I should have been advancing. . . I was going to piano lessons. . . volleyball games. . . basketball games. . . PTA and all that stuff. . . but it was only because I wanted to be there for my kids. . . and you know what. . . I have the best kids in the world. . . I don't have a career. . . I have a job. . . but they are doing great. . . and I am glad that I had 12 years with them.
Ciao
sicilian - I think I used the f word once in the comment you were referring. That word is not a word that I use ALL the time. It was jsut a huge surprise to me that in all the "fuck her"s that were flying around here, my one comment stood out.
About being a stay at home parent. I am one, have been for almost 19 years. My kids are also great kids. I do not have a degree because I had my kids young and never finished college. I am doing that now that they are older. I, too was going to school events, sporting events, etc. I would NEVER change things. It IS a JOB...a FULL TIME one, and as far as I am concerned, with great benefits. However, I got the impression here that cad felt "belittled" or "less than", because he chose to stay home with the children he helped create, while his wife worked. And that bothered me....a lot!
Chelle. . . . I think that women are made to feel less than for staying home. . . . it is funny for me to read the same thing from a man. I think Mrs. C. wants him to feel less. I think she is manipulative, but that is just what I get when I read him.
Chelle. . . I did it all right. . . . college. . . . kids. . . . then work. . . at this point my BA in Business Administration Management has done nothing much for me except get me into an entry level job. Staying home 12 years and then choosing jobs that worked so I could still do all the things with my kids kicked me in the butt at this point. Saying all that. . . . . I am still with you. . . . it was worth it for the kids.
Ciao
just for the record, the relationship i have with my kids has made it worth it.
i am reacting to mrs_c's assertion that i should get less than half because i "didn't pay" half the bills.
so yes chelle, i felt belittled...
by her saying i hadn't earned or paid half.
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