really ill - life is sucky

i've been really ill for the last 2 weeks or so

some kind of influenza thing

i haven't gotten much done

dishes and laundry - managed to keep on top of them

but not much else

haven't even shaved in 2 weeks

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my lawyers have filed the paperwork to suspend the court motion with a 3 day notice of return. they have begun the process of getting the mediation sessions underway.

the stbx's lawyers were supposed to, but surprise, surprise - they haven't

i still think it's all a big stall to not go to court...

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i think i may have missed telling you that i had a face to face with the stbx and her lawyers a couple of weeks ago

the stbx wanted to avoid court

so they cranked up the pressure on mediation

i was against it, but my lawyer advised me "in the strongest terms" to agree to do mediation

she said that agreeing would get me closer to where i want to be

it keeps a judge from dicking with the current custody/living arrangements

it prevents a ruling against me on custody

you see - the kids cab live with me full-time with just visits to their mother and yet we can still have joint custody. my lawyer says that i would probably lose the temporary custody order. she says that she believes that the stbx would hold it together more than well enough to appear sane in front of a judge (this is the first time my lawyer has met the stbx).

so the kids stay with me. the longer the de facto arangement remains - the more likely it is to be upheld by the court. the longer the kids are sheltered from their mom - the less they want to spend time with her - especially since them staying away and her not being able to force them to come back is sending the stbx into fits - so she takes it out on the kids - which drives them away more

the lawyer says to me "Do you want to win in court, or do you want to keep your kids away from your ex?"

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i'm broke

seriously broke

like out of money

i have some room on a couple of credit cards

Dad lent me some money, but i will have to go kissing ass for more over the next 2 months until my unemployment insurance starts arriving (with the end of the deemed period of my settlement).

i would have had enough money, but i had to spend a whack of extra cash on eqiping the apartment better for both kids to live here full time, and on massage, chiropractic, and medication.

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not that inspired a writer at this time, so i think i will try again tomorrow