When Is Enough, Enough?

(I've started 3 posts that I haven't completed, so this may be weirdly abrupt. Suffice it to sat that it has been pretty bad over the last couple of weeks. Very up and down. The up moments have been pleasant. The down moments, not so pleasant.)

All right then.

I reached the conclusion some time ago that staying on was not the best option, and that leaving Mrs_C was the best available (although still painful) choice. I have not left yet.

I still hang on out of fear of the unknown, or fear of the pain and complications, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, things would turn around.

Each time I screw up my courage to leave and tell Mrs_C that I'm out of here, she finds some way to suck me in (and I allow myself to be sucked in) to staying and giving her time. Which inevitably turns into me having to "make up" for some transgression of mine.

The latest being that she now demands that I make up for hurting her so bad by saying I was going to leave her - and that if I really loved her and wanted things to work I would never say such a thing. And that she really didn't mean it when she said she was going to leave or boot me out, but I did mean it, so she gets a pass and I don't...

Anyway, Mrs_c always pulls a rabbit out of her hat which convinces me to give it a few more days, or there is some event coming which would be a really terrible time to leave because of disruption to planned family or kid's activities.

Now she's agreed to counselling and is going to her first appointment Wednesday. Do I wait for this to do anything (I'm skeptical)?

Her behaviour over this weekend was absolutely manic up and down. One moment nice as pie, next ripping into me, next sobbing.

She at least said that she needed to stop drinking because she became to emotionally unstable when she drinks (duh!).

I'm at the edge.

How and when to draw the line?