Incidents Of Note

Mrs_C went to see a counsellor. She seemed to take it to heart for a couple of days. Then she accused me of having an affair - again - and demanded to see my credit card receipts for all of my cards for the last 2 years.

Her thesis: "When you swore at me and struck me you were so angry. I've never seen you that angry before. You couldn't be that angry at me. You must be angry at yourself. The only thing that could make you that angry at yourself is if you had an affair."

She read some website that gave "warning signs of an affair". Stuff like "If he embarks on a drastic self-induced makeover, it’s probably not for you"...

...or "introduces new sexual practices" (last year i suggested we try a few new things - nothing weird, just beyond missionary/oral/on all fours). "When they begin to make "kinky" requests or suggest wildly erotic play during sex including things you have never done before. They may also show an increased interest in sex or sexual things."

She also cited me coming home from work at 5:30-6pm. This really makes me mad - I work flex hours because I get the kids off to school in the morning. If I arrive at 8:30am i leave at 5:30 - it's that simple. I wanted to work 8-5 but Mrs_C insisted that I drive our son to school in the morning instead of him catching the bus. So I do. And I'm home at after 5:30pm. This is ostensibly a period of time where I have sex in our office storage room...

Here's another one "A man who is cheating will display changes of some kind in his normal patterns of behavior. Pay close attention to any deviations in your husband’s daily routine." and "Be alert for changes in your husband’s attitude, personality or behavior."

Yeah, I got really mad. I told her to come down to my office and began pulling out statements. She tried to stop me part way through, but I pulled out a random selection of of them from the files - made her do the random draw a few times too. She was all weepy sorry and I was furious.

I called the lawyer on Tuesday (before the accusation incident (Thursday) and left him a voice mail asking for a referral to a good divorce lawyer inside his firm. He called me back on Friday and gave me the name. I will call her from the office tomorrow. He waited for a couple of days to call me back figuring if it was just a moment of anger a few days cooling would be helpful. He asked "do you still need a lawyer?"

Poor guy, he's my friend too. He attended our wedding...

There was a massive blowout yesterday (Sunday). The kids got caught in that one. I actually ended up crying in frustration and upset during the discussion. I yelled. It was bad - it spilled out on to the kids too. They have forgiven me. I have yet to forgive myself.

[open heavy bias/editorial comment warning]
Yep, she had all three of us in tears, and she got the feel this swirl of emotion.
[close heavy bias/editorial comment warning]

That's two incidents with the kids present. I believe that she is now consiously or unconsciously using them as a foil in "discussions". I won't stand for that.

The involvement of the kids is a final fatal blow. Her need for an emotional hit (like heroin) is now outweighing the interests of the kids. I think her words were true. She's doing it for the emotional high she gets. Fucking bitch. (sorry for using that word, but i'm very, very upset)

She keeps telling me to let it out "Allow yourself to feel." I think she wants me to give over to her emotional swirl instead of the control I operate under.

I'm done. I'm seeing the lawyer. I'm considering timing. I can't do this anymore.