Sangria

Earlier this month Smitten's niece (P) who is only 5-6 years younger than her and niece's new beau came over to Smitten's for the evening. P is more like a cousin in relationship to Smitten. They are good friends and have done plenty of partying over the years.

I made Sangria. Cooked it up on the Wednesday night and left it sit for two days. Did some extra doctoring because I made it wrong... I cooked the oranges, lemons, and limes with the wine when I mulled it with cinnamon sticks and whole cloves.

It was a very dry wine and the bitterness of the peels came through very strongly. I should have mulled the wine and added the fruit while it was warm and cooling - not had it in during the boil.

I haven't made Sangria in about 20 years. Sound like a familiar length of time? Yes, it's true. Making Sangria is one more activity that was thwarted many years until I gave up asking/trying by the stbx-Mrs_C veto (is there nothing in my life I can't be bitter about toward stbx? hmmmmm - i am beginning to believe not...)

stbx-Mrs_C didn't want the expense or something - because it is the sort of thing that should be made in a big batch for a party. she didn't even want to make it for her sister and the brother-in-law, or the family. wouldn't even let me make it for my own birthday. it was OK to spend $80-$100 on buying 40oz bottles of Rye, Vodka, and Rum for the inlaws - but not on making Sangria...

Anyway - I made Sangria. I also bought two funky flasks (if you can call them that) with taps on the side to hold such beverages. I figured one for white Sangria and the other for red.

These kinds of flasks are the sort of thing I wasn't allowed to buy. "Too much clutter" was the refusing phrase. I like to have stuff like this. It's fun. It makes a difference to the environment of the party.

i did end up buying a funky cheap glass decanter as well - the big flask ($12 each) taps didn't work so well after testing.

Back to the story:

I got all worked up when I was preparing stuff. I had run out and picked up some pre-cut veggie trays and fruit trays because i had run out of time. I would have made my own but work and kid pressure killed it for me.

I was all worried/panicked that Smitten would be mad because:

1) I had spent a bunch of money on all the stuff when she said it was going to be a simple evening - i was anxious about the Sangria and the food.
2) that i hadn't made the veggie trays myself - that this would indicate a "lack of interest" or valuation on her, spending time with her niece, and the evening as a whole.
3) that i was bringing over the flask and the Sangria to "showboat"

Yep - i was right worked up. But i sailed on because it was what i wanted to do. And if she wasn't happy about i figured she could fuck right off. If she didn't like it or got mad at me she could kiss my ass and i would get a new girlfriend - one who liked decanters and things.

Yes - it was indeed entirely projection of my own anxiety and my own past.

Smitten (without knowing about my panic) was thrilled, tickled, and delighted that i would:

1) go through the effort of making Sangria (her husband didn't even know how to cook - even by the time she left him [well - he could cook one or two things - literally one or two things - she had to leave instructions on how to bake store bought lasagna and such...])
2) bring food
3) that i had chosen to be on time by buying the trays instead of being late and preparing them
4) that i would value her family enough to want to make it a better evening
5) that i would have any interest/delight in something like the flasks and decanter - that kind of trapping for a party/event

I guess I do have a girlfriend who likes those things.

I guess I don't need to go find one that does.

BTW - without knowing my panicked state, they all said it was the best Sangria they had ever had. Smitten and niece P are not the phony compliment kind. P's beau doesn't like/drink red wine. He thought the Sangria was spectacular.

Yeah... I really can't describe the wholesale panic that was going through me as I was arriving at Smitten's. It was real and it was huge.

I know it will go away or dull eventually. Smitten's reactions to many things are being overlaid on previous reactions and triggers. It will just take time.

In the meantime, I would like to share my Sangria and flask with you (normally it has a big cork on the top):