some replies

some replies to your thoughtful comments to emasculation and pain

buddha_girl:

"Knowing what must be done, knowing you should do it, and getting it done are all different things."

how does the song go? "even if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice"

"Life..." "...doesn't come with instructions."

no it doesn't. and i made some choices that i have to live with. choices about being nicey nice. about falling into the same pattern as before. about ignoring outside voices and my internal voice.

but perhaps that's the life lesson i need to learn, hmmmm?

Sicilian: "If you had known..."

i guess that's part of the problem. i did know she would be the bag she is being. i just hoped one more time that it would be better this time (c.f. cycle of abuse).

Smitten said that she was warned from the beginning by what I wrote in my online dating profile:

"Separated - fitting together my new life. Still issues back and forth with regard to the separation, so I am approaching resumption of dating with some sensitivity (hence private photos). I would prefer no issues with my ex (not a psycho situation - just being careful and sensitive)."

Smitten said "I would prefer" was a dead giveaway as to my true expectation of the stbx's likely action set...

signgurl: "I'm sorry, I just can't get past the renewed groin feelings. I'm a pervert who's happy for you."

good attention to the material ;-P

but i think you focused on the important part. what do i do to get past it, get around it, live a new life that focuses on what i want to be important? remember my post: the four pillars"?

if they are truly to be:

1) sex

2) sleep

3) food and drink

4) enjoyment

then i need to keep my eye on the ball (or maybe Smitten's eyes on mine...;-)

Pissy: As noted in flip-flop-fly, you called it last fall - that she wouldn't do this cleanly or nicely.

Thank-you for your support and good thoughts and wishes.

Cole: thank-you for your emotion. thank-you for your validation of what i am feeling. thank-you for your love and support.

Pirate:

"Ever watch a fly banging up against window glass? It keeps banging and banging away, and oftentimes will continue to do so until it collapses and dies.

That fly is powerless against that window. Nothing it does, no matter how hard it tries, will not get it through that piece of glass."

yeah - the fly can't see the glass - or doesn't know what it is.

to the fly the path is clear. the fly knows where it wants to go. the fly has a plan - and probably a good one. it just doesn't understand the nature of the barrier it faces. If it even realised it was a barrier it would change its plan - but it doesn't because the way just seems so clear

c.f. my comment above:

"Life..." "...doesn't come with instructions."

no it doesn't. and i made some choices that i have to live with. choices about being nicey nice. about falling into the same pattern as before. about ignoring outside voices and my internal voice.

but perhaps that's the life lesson i need to learn, hmmmm?

the last word goes to hippi

ohc said...

"All I can say, after everyone else has said it so well, is that living well is the best revenge."