Those of you who have been through the divorce/splitting thing:
How does this work? How do you go about packing your shit and walking out the door?
That's all I can think of. I don't want to pack up around the kids - they have enough moments of drama to deal with. So I'm just thinking I'll pack up when they are not around. I think I'll take Tuesday off and do most of it then.
I'm not sure how I will deal with the emotional pressure from Mrs_C between now and then - to stay.
I'm thinking I will sleep at my parents place. I can't endure another night like last night.
I'm so sore today - fibromyalgia pain so bad I could scream. Mrs_C wheedling and working me hard to stay (even just a few days... she says), saying she can prove she'll change. Daughter alternating crying and brave. Son taciturn. Little sleep. Jaw and head about to explode, and the fibromyalgia pain.
I hope it doesn't sound whiny to post the above paragraph. It's just pretty overwhelming.
“All I want is for the baby to be healthy!”
8 months ago
6 comments:
Caddy. Be honest with the kids. They know anyways. Gosh, this has to be so hard. Hang in there, sweetie.
NW Girl is right. See? I'm certain you'll hear from many more people here or through email saying the same thing and more.
You know me...Miss Verbage. My email was a long one.
Know you have people willing to stand in as your backbone as you go through this. We know you can do it.
honestly, cadbury? just do it. pack up and go. don't prolong the agony for you, for the kids, for her, even.
as nowhere girl said, the kids know. don't try to hide it from them. it's so much worse that way.
in my case, it was the ex who left. actually, that's kind of a funny story. we'd had a hideous horrible final fight one night and i told him a million times to leave, and he wouldn't... so i went to bed and told him i hoped he wouldn't be there in the morning.
i get up the next day, and he'd slept on the couch... but while i was in the bathroom, he went into the bedroom to hide.
i went in, told him i didn't understand why he was still there, as i certainly didn't want him there... and then went back out to the living room to sob and do whatever the hell it was i did. a few hours later, i went back to the bedroom to see what the hell was up... and he was gone. i had no idea he'd gone. he hardly took anything with him.
and i actually laughed, because i don't know how he managed to leave without my knowing it.
anyway... back to you. don't put yourself AND your loved ones through a long weekend of torture.
and good luck.
Cadbury~I'm with nowhere girl, buddha girl and terry on this: just do it.
tell the children (who already know, btw),pack up and go.
Go stay at your parent's house.
That is the ONLY way you're going to get any relief.
good luck!
p.s. Kristin gave you EXCELLENT legal advice. Take it.
Your son already knows the deal. He's cool with it. Your wife already knows this is coming. She knows. Your daughter will be the only hurdle. More than likely, mommy is going to manipulate her into some pretty ugly thoughts about you. You prepare yourself for that. She is going to need to find someone else to manipulate. It won't be your son. He's wise to her bullshit, so it will be your daughter.
Pack your shit and go. Do it while they are gone...BUT, be there when they get home from wherever they are. Show them where THEY will be able to stay in your place. Talk to them about how much fun they are going to have when they come over to see you. Tell them you have an open door policy, that this is THEIR apartment as well and they are welcome ANY time they want.
Remember - children directly feed off the emotions of their parents. If you seem happy, upbeat and positive, they won't feel so consumed by the negativity of their mother.
CP.
Everyone has given you grand thoughts and words of wisdom. I know this is hard, but it will pass even though it does not seem like it. We are all here, we all care, and we all send light.
Please take time for you. Take a small break when you can. Sleep, eat right. And sleep. I am glad you talked about going to your parents. Less time in the past enviromnet is for the better.
All I can say is that I admire you! I admire your courage, dedication and passion. Kristen gave you some great advice!
Sending lots of light and good things to you as you take the next few steps. May things go well...
*huge hugs*
ohc
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