Saturday, July 01, 2006

This is the hardest thing ever - told her i was leaving - told the kids too

As above.

She's resisting with all the tricks in the book.

Daughter was quite upset - especially after Mrs_C did a particularly nasty piece of manipulation. I called her on it. Mrs_C fessed up and apologised.

Daughter was still upset.

My mom cut some chques on Thursday to pay the initial costs associated with getting the apartment and booking my daughter's summer classes,

Asked my Dad on Friday (before telling Mrs_C) "Is this the right thing to do?" His response "That is only, and can be only, your decision. I will not answer with an answer that can be used as the basis for a later decision... [pause] I will, however, tell you that your mother and I have no reservations what-so-ever about the decision you appear to have already made."

Yes, my Dad actually talks like that. That was my Dad at his emotional finest (or close to it).

I was going to wait until after the long weekend. One last weekend as a family. Kids and fireworks. All that.

On Friday I was going to drop son off and proceed to my appointment with the apartment people. Son didn't want to get out of the vehicle - wanted to go with me - wanted to know what my mission without him was. After some hassle I said "Do you really want to go with me for this? You may not like what you are about to find out."

He says "I can probably guess. And Mom is the person who would have a problem with it."

I fill out the paperwork. He asks when I'm telling her and daughter. I say "Maybe Monday, maybe Tuesday - after finalizing the apartment (credit checks, reference checks, employment verification, blah, blah). He says "What is the point of that? Then she'll be all having a happy weekend and BAM you hit her with that next week? She'll be all confused."

I thought for a short while and realised he was right. I told him that his thoughts were more morally sound than mine.

I told her last night. A blow by blow will be posted when I have the time and focus.

I am soooooo sleep deprived right now. I made the mistake of staying in the house overnight - there were circumstances with the kids that demanded I be around until about 2 am. Mrs_C says "Sleep here. I can leave you the other half of the bed. I don't hate you."

She woke me up about every 15 to 20 minutes by talking to me, putting her arm around me, squeezing me, et al. At around 6am she gets up and says she's going for a walk. About 6:40am she come back in and interupts my longest stretch of sleep to start pressuring me to get up and go for a walk with her.

I finally grouchily got up and went - assuming she wouldn't leave me alone otherwise. The walk turned out to be another arm twisting session.

She's out for coffee with her sister right now.

Thank God my father said what he did. I had made up my own mind, but knowing what he said anchored my resolve. I was so close to caving so many times.

Time to rouse the kids. They've got stuff to do.

2 comments:

terry said...

cadbury, i'm so glad your parents are there for you.

and i hope taking this step brings you some of the peace you so richly deserve.

take it day by day. it really does get easier.

ohc said...

Cadbury,
I really like your father's finesse! It is obvious everyone is supporting you, even your children. Your son is a wise one! WOW!

I know this will be hard. I hope you gets some rest and can refresh somewhat before embarking on the move.

I can only hope that eveeerything goes smooth from here on out. I hope Mrs. C has the sense to be decent.

While I am sad for you I am happy that you made the decision. That is the hardest part, I think.

I know you have tried...Everyone does.

Please know I am here.
Sending huge hugs...
Be well.