I went to see stbx-Mrs_C's psychologist 4 times since the beginning of January. We went over a bunch of stuff related to the separation and impending divorce. We discussed the kids and how they are handling the situation.
The last time I went (last week) he said he didn't need to see me again. He said that he might give a call when the property division and other details of the separation agreement are in negotiation and mediation (and potentially heating up), but he would see.
He said that I appeared to be handling things well, and to have a solid understanding and plan for my life. He said that nothing any of the other 3 (including stbx-Mrs_C) have said contradicts anything I told him, so he takes it at face value.
I am apparently, from his professional standpoint, boringly normal and more stable than most people he has seen in my situation. He thinks that I need to keep working on expressing emotions and anger rather than swallowing/suppressing them, but that given my recognition of those issues, it wasn't something I should spend $100.00 and hour working on...
He suggested making sure I had friends and family to talk to. He said to try to avoid much discussion of issues with the kids. He said that the way I have dealt with the collisions and "outings" of marital issues in the past - steady, fully honest, and in an unexcited manner would help the kids by providing a stable response for them to model from.
He cautioned against talking too much about my marriage with Smitten. He suggested that if I needed someone to talk to that this blogging circle sounded quite useful (even if he has never blogged), and that if I needed an objective viewpoint I should access the counsellor at the co-operative clinic I belong to (no charge for members).
He said that he didn't think I would need much more than someone to vent to at this point.
I told him that I was prepared to do what I could to make sure that the kids were supported in coming to see him, and that if there was something I could do to keep stbx-Mrs_C going to see him I would do that. That I had wanted her to go for counselling for so long, and that i was happy she was seeing him.
He said he would keep my offer in mind, and that he hoped that stbx-Mrs_C would continue to see him until she had an opportunity to work through both present and past issues (with inflection), and that they were linked to her future well being.
“All I want is for the baby to be healthy!”
1 year ago
4 comments:
the psych makes a good point, about talking too much about the marriage with smitten... because you certainly don't want that subject to overshadow the relationship you have with smitten.
happy vd, cad!
Mr. C. . . What good affirmation from a professional. . . I too made a decison to stop talking about the X to Sweetie. . . . it has been freeing. . . and the blog community lets me vent so well. . . . when I just need to get it out. . . it is here that I do it. . . . even after 4 years. . . I still need to have a venue. . . my love is not my first choice. . . it is my blog.
Ciao
That's what I was going to say... the blog is the PERFECT place to get this junk out and get unbiased advice.
Adam and I always laugh, if our therapist read my blog... I would probably be committed?! ha ha
I agree with what the others have said. :)
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