Errata

Mrs_C

Mrs_C has been calling almost every day trying to get me to engage with her on the topic of our marriage. Trying to get me to explain one more time why it won't work (in order to argue that it can work).

I have rebuffed discussion on this topic.

I have agreed to a discussion of parenting issues on Saturday. She presented me with a number of "examples" of how the split is damaging the psyche of our children.

After speaking with my children I am suspicious of these... examples, and I am of the suspicion that any real damage is occurring as a result of their mother's manipulation and pressure. And I quote (son) "She just won't leave us alone on the subject of the separation. We don't want to talk about it anymore. It is what it is." also in the same conversation (daughter) "She says she wants to comfort us, but what she really wants is us to comfort her."

I am demanding a written agenda for such a meeting. I am declaring our marriage as off the table for discussion.

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Daughter

Daughter's ostensible wish to live full-time with her mother.

No

Won't happen. Not even if daughter requests it. This is one instance where I am overriding my child's wishes (which haven't been expressed to me directly by her yet). I believe it is in her best interest to have the week's break from her mother's psychological torture whether daughter realises it or not. If I crumbled under that onslaught, what is Mrs_C doing to a 10 year old.

I will not be party to having such abuse heaped upon my daughter. It's not that Mrs_C is necessarily "abusing" the kids, it is just the insane emotional swirl that she imposes on the family - I found it abusive - in addition to the actual attacks. I will shelter my daughter for awhile anyway.

Her mother is using the incoming new puppy for daughter as a weapon of control, just like the room renovation. She threatened the children with losing their rooms because she would have to sell the house, and told daughter "Isn't it sad your father's choice means you will have to give up your room right after we made it all nice."

Mrs_C is saying "Too bad you won't be there to look after your puppy when you are with your father". Daughter and son argued the puppy could come the apartment, but Mrs_C refused to even entertain that idea. I think that is a giveaway as to how it is being used.

The law in our jurisdiction backs me up on my decision. No child choice until age 12.

We will see how daughter feels after a week in the clear.

I will give her extra time to be with her puppy, but she will be staying with me.

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Smitten attending function for my work

Smitten is coming to a fundraiser from my part of the universe with me. On of the higher-ups ("S") who is a friend of mine (you know my business - "S" is one of the people I craft messaging and do detailed data analysis for) wants to check out "[My] new squeeze". "S" is paying for the tickets. "S" lives a couple of blocks from me and also knows Mrs_C and the kids.

Like most people who know me she has been concerned for years about my health and emotional well-being in the relationship with Mrs_C.

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Smitten and Truth Time

I showed Smitten the post Truth Time about the one incident between Mrs_C and I.

Smitten is an activist in the regional women's centre and has been for years. After I learned that bit of information I found it appropriate to share the essay/post with her.

I asked her to read the post straight off this blog. She did. Her reaction was much like yours - I shouldn't have done what I did, but she understood how the incident occurred - and expressed confidence that it was an isolated incident.

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Smitten and blog

I asked her to read the blog at a time when she feels up to it. I feel the need to begin re-integrating my "online life" with real life. I have shared a number of my posts with Smitten already. She has said (on tagging) "interesting - a good way to actually think about things" - I sent her the three tag from this blog (the one Pirate tagged me with), on blogging "Thank you so much for sharing that with me ........ wow" and "Thanks so much for sharing with me - I love the way you write. It is a very interesting thing to me - to journal a life for others to read"

She asked if I felt her reading the blog would help her understand me and what I am going through. I said yes.

She will read it.

Smitten has said she would be pleased to say hello to you - my online friends.

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The dog

The dog has been with us for 6 years now. We got him from the pound. I did not pick the dog. Mrs_C picked the dog. Immediately after getting the dog she said it could no longer live in the house because it shed too much and piddled. I built a funky heated and insulated doghouse and dog run (some of you have seen the pictures). I worked and played with the dog and walked him for years until it no longer piddled and happily ignored me and sassed me just like my kids - and that's a good thing.

Mrs_C allowed the dog in the house after I left, and allowed it freer run.

Since I left - the dog has reverted to piddling again.

I'm sad. He had come very far.

He's being banished to the doghouse again.