Friday, September 15, 2006

Tingling

CP said: "Let us know when you get naked!"

um

that ship has sailed

Cadbury said: "Shared some wine when I dropped her off after the event. Snuggled for awhile (long while)."

yeah. haven't "done it" yet.

we just touched and kissed for hours - and then got naked - and touched and kissed for hours more. from 10pm until 3:30am after "the event".

last night she came over to my place. I showed her my apartment, we talked, and I played her music that I listen to. I had made some compilation CDs in anticipation of her coming over - just never expected it to be that quickly

she stayed the night. We didn't "do it" again. We just touched and kissed and played - and actually went to sleep at around 1am.

I am really happy we are not having full fledged sex yet. We'd both like to, but we have agreed we want that to wait until we have at least 10 or 12 clear hours (in another most excellent coincidence we both prefer very long sessions ;-). I like that we are getting comfortable with each other before going any steps further. It's also certainly helping me in the "performance anxiety", um, "standpoint".

it's absolutely electric. I feel like there is electricity shooting through my hands and fingers - through my limbs.

gawd - i've only known this woman for - what? - 10 days now?

I have no idea of what's happening to my brain or body. or me.



I had a plan in my mind as to how all this dating resumption thing was going to work. beginning dating - dating quite a cross section of women. being a bit of a bon vivant on my non-parenting days.

I intended to "get around". I'm a relatively good looking, smooth (in a positive sense, of course ;-), charming, well spoken guy. I had notions of returning to some of the bon vivant status I enjoyed to it's fullest when I was in University.

Just so you know, I was, uh, um... "highly active" as a "dater" when I was younger. I am still going through my mental archives from University, but I have the suspicion I may have hit on Smitten then too (but not dated). Mostly because there were very few good-looking women on campus whom I didn't hit on at one time or another (no - I was an not icky "Rico suave" type - remember - I championed better lighting, better security patrols, safe walk programs [night parking lot escorting], women's self defense - the gamut - Smitten actually remembers that there was some student activist guy on campus leading the charge on campus lighting and security [that would be me])

I am not a "newb" to relationships or dating. I am pretty cagey. Perhaps a little cynical (a lot cynical after Mrs_C).



I am now completely blown away. I had a delightful time with the teacher lady. I had a few other pretty choice women that I was beginning to date. You've heard about some of them.

And now I've met my compatibility print-out. Or something.

I know... "go slow". I am not going to do something stupid (I hope). I mean like suddenly move in with her or something truly dumbassed.

we have talked about how we feel - both of us are acting in ways we've never acted before. that's why her colleagues all wanted to meet me. she's acting out of character as well (yes, they said it to me when we met the other night - gently and teasing, but with interest - they all seem to care about her quite a bit - it's a "good works" social intervention charity - they are all caring people from caring professions).

we have decided that while we have no idea where anything is going, we have no interest in trying to suppress the giddiness or joy. we intend to ride it where it goes and see how things work out - however they may. we both realise that it may not work out.



This is an excerpt from an email I sent to her:

"i have been thinking about you every moment since you left this morning

that tingling feeling just keeps coursing through me all over

mostly in my hands

i don't know why

i've never felt this way before

----

each time it surges through me any of the small twinges of pain left are washed away with it

you are healing me"

6 comments:

Sicilian said...

Mr. C. . . I know how you feel. . .my Sweetie and I. . . 2 dates. . . done deal. . . he laughs that things happened so quick. . . totally out of character for me. . . but almost a year later. . . still enjoying each other's company. . .
I am glad you are enjoying each other. . hopefully for a very long time.
Ciao

cadbury_vw said...

thanks sicilian

good to know i'm not losing my marbles

(or at least not the only one)

Michelle said...

I really hesitate to comment because I KNOW someone is going to crawl up my ass for what I am about to write. That's ok....but sometimes I Just like to play devil's advocate. Sometimes feelings get shrouded by emotions that have been supressed for so long. I HOPE that is so not the case here. I really wish you all the happiness in the world and if it is with Smitten, then awesome! HOWEVER....this is the first person you have clicked with since your separation, right?? Not to say that there will be a kazillion others....but I am just thinking "rebound" and that is not good. I'm sure it feels AMAZING to have someone so "into" you as much as you are into her. Feelings and emotions are always best when reciprocated. My fist thought, and I am not trying to be negative or sabatoge anything, but my first thought is that things are happening way fast. That's ok...you are a adults....just be careful. Ten days? Not long at all. PLUS....you're legally still married. Ok people...chill out. I LIKE Cad, just looking out for him and stating my view as you all do. Cadbury...please dont be mad at me for this. But sometimes it's easier for those on the outside looking in to see what those on the inside might not. :)

In any case, I am happy that you are happy....and ultimately...wtf does MY opinion matter anyway?? LOL :)

cadbury_vw said...

's'ok Chelle

"rebound" is top of mind for me too

as a person who chews over everything, and who rarely trusts gut or emotion

in the back (well, not so far back) of my mind i am equally apprehensive

that's why I said "I have no idea of what's happening to my brain or body. or me."

i still don't

i'm going to ride the wave for awhile, make sure i don't do anything really ridiculous and enjoy what i am feeling

southern peach said...

You go Cadbury! She sounds great, and you two together sound great. You are already doing what I would suggest...taking things slow and keeping your head about you (so to speak); you are being rational and thinking about things. I say have fun while riding the wave as long as you don't totally just abandon all rational thought he he ;) I am very happy for you, too!!!!

CP said...

Let me let you in on a secret.

Me and the hotband?

Yeah.

On the first date. For hours. And hours. And only six weeks after my ex and I separated.

Seven years later, we are still on our first date, going for hours and hours. He still makes my hands shake and gives me that tingly "first date" feeling.

Caution to the wind and slow be damned.

Jump in. See what the waters feel like. If you start to drown or find the waters to be shark infested...get out. But, if they feel warm and wonderful...stay. Swim. Float along. Live.

CP.