I had been avoiding calling the lawyer and getting the papers drawn up. Why? Pain avoidance. But, all things are as all things are. It had always been my hope to, before getting to that point, actually hear the words "I understand" from Mrs_C and have them stay there. She has said she understands other times, and then changes her story. I have since realised that it is part of the game. By refusing to acknowledge the problem, she doesn't have to change.
So I called the lawyer's office and requested the papers be drawn up.
Was invited to a dinner by [Lady Of Smitten]. A fundraising dinner for a high-profile local charity. I will be sitting with her boss (close friend/older mentor) and co-workers (at a table paid for by the organization she works for). She showed had them a print-out of my online dating profile before out first date and then told them that the dates went well. She wanted to invite me to this dinner, and they all want to check out "the guy". So I'm going. I'm kind of pleased, this is exactly the kind of thing Mrs_C would always jam out of going to. [Lady Of Smitten] likes this kind of social event, and had issues with her ex-husband about going to such (or not). She is really happy that I would like to go and that this is the type of event I would naturally be attending.
Good thing this sort of situation - public events, dinners, charity fundraisers, polite dinner conversation, meeting people I don't know from Adam and being well perceived - is what I have been raised from birth to do...(literally) or I might be crapping my pants. I still am a little, but I'm OK.
My suits don't fit like they used to since I lost the weight. I picked the best one - the one i had tailored for me on last year's Asia/Pacific business trip. I was waiting to have them taken in until I had reached target weight (cheap bastard that i am).
I took my ensemble to get my Mom to tell me if it fit OK. She inquired what I was attending. I told her - she asked how much it was costing. I told her nothing, and that i had been "invited" (emphasis and inflection). She said "good". She said "you should be getting [pause] "out and about". You're ready. You can't sit and look at four walls. You need to go out with friends and socialise, and you need to get [pause] "out and about".
I said "I'm sitting with, uh [pause] - the boss and co-workers. Will I be OK? Do I look presentable enough?"
We discussed some tricks to not looking baggy (the critical one being to not button up the jacket - I've lost 8-10 inches off my waist since it was tailored) and not showing the places I put the safety pins in (I warned [Lady Of Smitten] that my suits were not perfect, but that I would be fully presentable).
My Mom said she didn't want to know any details because it was none of her business, but that she had saved an article from a magazine for me. She gave it to me and I read it at the kitchen table while sitting with her. It was about being separated and divorced and single and dating. And how a person should take advantage of the opportunities to have "the other life" in the weeks they are not being a parent. We laughed about some of the funny things the lady who had written the article had said.
I've reactivated the requirement that people be registered bloggers to post comments. I had left it off in case some friends from another online community dropped by.
I have begun deleting some comments. I do not know how many i will delete in the future.
I have decided that the individual who is making these posts is doing what's called "flame trolling" and getting kicks out of seeing if I will rise to the bait. After being ignored the tone comments rose to the level of pure "flame bait" and that is what made me realise that it is actually a game that is being played to provoke reaction.
If neccessary I will put comment moderation onto this blog until the anonymous "flame troller" gets the message they are not wanted here and goes away.
I hope everyone has a great day. Mine is only getting better.
“All I want is for the baby to be healthy!”
1 year ago
7 comments:
thanks Lil'sis - it's this evening (yeah that'l be 3 times since [and including] friday evening)
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she's REALLY nice. like i said "She might as well be a compatiblity print-out she matches up so well. "
i'm a little "gawrsh and golly" but doing OK, even if my fingertips are tingly
goddamn i feel like a schoolboy fool - dumbass grin and all "electric current" all over me
but i will keep it together and not get outside the appropriate track.
i am still an in control and well considered guy - i will be level headed
----
did i mention my leg pain has been completely gone for about 3 days now?
wheeeee!
Wish I'd read this post before I left the comment on your last post.
Anon is certainly getting more hostile in her comments.
You're doing the right thing with regards to her.
Have fun at your event.
I look forward to hearing all the details! :)
Whoa! I miss a few days and I missed a lot! I'm so happy for you.
Here is the female perspective gone wild. . . your X. . . or soon to be is probably trolling. . . you have to be careful. . . because if you. . . showed up at an event. . . I would be asking you . . . especially if I cared about Smitten as a friend. . . how long you had been divorced. . . people. . . don't really trust. . . men or women. . . who haven't taken care of business. . . so you could make . . . without really knowing it a crappy impression. . . at least if they all find out that you are married still.
Hope this doesn't yank your chain. . . just giving you an idea of the way we women think. . . I wouldn't touch a guy not divorced. . . separated isn't good enough.
Ciao
See comment on last post below.
Anonymous is a bitter person. That's obvious. Like I said, don't let that affect you. You are doing a great job with your kids and how you are handling the situation.
And sicilian? While I appreciate your candor, please don't speak on behalf of all women. Some of us weren't raised like dogs and we don't have to pee on the legs of our ex's to mark our territory.
My ex and I had a very amicable break up. He is good friends with my new husband. I am friendly with my ex's new girlfriend. We all share holidays and birthdays together. There was no trolling around on my behalf, nor did my husband not trust in me because I was merely "separated" and not divorced.
It is called "SECURE".
I suggest you get a cupful.
CP.
Sicilian:
words taken well - and well considered
on the what do i tell folks, if it comes up i say "earlier this year"
let them make any guesses they want
Hey Princess. . . you have your X tell your kid he never loved you. . . bet you'd sing a different tune. . .
As the X's grandmother said once,
I don't understand a friendly divorce. . . if they got along so well. . . why'd the divorce.
Ciao
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