Fuck Off
I was going to write a detailed acerbic rebuttal and refutation of various of your points, and the tonality of your posts, but I realised that I didn't feel like it.
So thought I'd be more straight forward.
Fuck Off
If I wanted to listen to someone who was overbearingly assured of their being right in each and every situation and instance I would have stayed married to Mrs_Cadbury.
You waltz in here a few days ago posting anonymously. You obviously hadn't even read the majority of posts on this site when, with the utmost of assurity in your own correctness, you started telling me what I should do. And not very politely.
You contradict yourself, you make sweeping statements with little basis in fact or background, you post anonymously, and you insult me. You insult my son. You insult the other people who talk here. You offer nothing of yourself to the community of people posting.
The majority of people here have been posting since almost the inception of this blog. Others have their own blogs which provide a view into the kind of people they are, or at least want to be. They share. They share their pain and their joy. Their failures and their victories - small and large. Their dreams and their fantasies.
They are my friends. I know the real names of many of these people, where they live, their occupations and their academic and life background.
Others who arrive have their own blog that provides insight into who they are. Often we travel the same blogging circle - the same community. They too are welcome.
You pompously waltz in here purporting to be the bringer of all knowledge - the one with the insight into the truth. After being forced to create a profile to post, you immediately revert to anonymously posting again. And what do I know about you that would make me trust you or listen to you? You could be a loudmouthed 13 year old or a child molester in prison somewhere. I don't know, because all you share is your detailed prescriptions for fixing my life - a life you have participated in for what? 4 days. That is why this is my favourite of all your comments "This is a perfect example of your problem. You think you know something and are willing to spout off about it when in fact you have absolutely no basis for forming a guess." - Anonymous, September 06, 2006
Fuck You, Anonymous Blog_Surfer. You haven't earned the right to spout off like you do.
If you want to continue posting here without having your posts deleted summarily, I suggest you:
1) get a little more polite. directness is fine. pointed is fine. but get polite and also don't denigrate the others here with your sweeping comments and dismissals and not so subtle jabs at their views
2) use your profile to post. fill in the blanks. describe who you are and a little bit about where you are coming from
3) create a blog and talk about a few of your own ideas instead of just wandering in a taking potshots.
Then you will have walked a ways toward earning the right to participate.
9 comments:
Cadbury- I used to deal with the anonymous bullshit ALL OF THE TIME on my old blog.
Ask Pissy?!
Sheesh, a mess.
I no longer do it.
Make sure people are registered users who are able to comment. They then tend to think about their words more carefully.
i tried that NWG - he/she popped off and created a profile and came back
i tried to be polite, but i don't need someone who hasn't earned it telling me what to do.
all of you folks sure as hell have earned that right and I welcome your straight-talk (and quote it often), but johnny-come-lately anonymous?
puhlease...
----
i've outlined my expectations for a more constructive level of interaction in a couple of my replies
Cad~I started to leave a comment earlier and didn't even know where to begin....
Nowhere Girl is right! It WAS a mess! Not worth the trouble.
At first I thought Anonymous was trying to help, but after you asked him/her to back off and he/she didn't?
Not cool.
Pissy (and others): it is my hope that this incident does not spook any people from speaking their minds here or to me - that is why i took such pains to tell you that i appreciate your straight talk
again, i want to underline that regulars are utterly and completely free to say anything and everything.
even newcomers
i do expect people to read a little before shooting off the big guns. people who have been with me over time and have supported me have more rights to prod me hard
it works that way in real life too
----
i had a room-mate and best friend in university who decided he knew everything that was right for me. he sounded just like anonymous. I mean exactly like anonymous.
so i understand that anon caught some of the shit collected in my soul about that incident...
testy aren't we?
how to win friends and influence people
I'm direct. sorry, but that is who I am. Yes, I feel I know a thing or two about your situation. You wanted input. I'm giving you input. If you wanted to be told you were right. Ask people to tell you that you are right.
If earning "it" means saying what a sweet and wonderful man you are, forget "it."
I never insulted your son. Get real. Brothers and sisters are the same the world over. A brother needs to be told to tell his sister that she looks great. If your son would do it on his own, he is one in a million. Laws of probability are that he needs to told.
You are making all the mistakes that so many before you have made. You don't want to be told that, I know. Either you DESIRE to go the same route as so many others, or you need to hear you are going that route. Change course or not. Your choice.
But don't sit back lonely years from now and wonder why no one ever told you.
You want my life story? Ask your son. Ask him in about thirty years, too. That is if he ever sees you after graduation and starts working. I talk plain. I'm talking straight. I know my mother. I haven't seen my father in twenty years. you want to be that type of father?
Listen or not. Delete or not. It does not matter. It is your life to reassemble or throw away. You are trying to figure out how this crazy separation-divorce thing works, but you ignore someone telling you the reality? Grow up. You do not have all the answers. Do I? No. But I have some. Piece it all together and learn something valuable before you screw up with your kids.
The real test of of a person comes during their low points. How do they react? You start swearing at an anonymous voice on the internet. You are sinking lower each time you do that. I don't mind you venting your anger with me. You can't hurt me. Get it out of your system. Cuss some more. Then realize, you aren't angry at me, but at yourself. Right?
Is this the way you want your kids to handle their problems with the real world? you are suppose to be a role model for them. Time to start learning how to do that, too. You will only have half a chance in the future - every other weekend.
anonymous: I don't think Cadbury would be so pissed off at you if you didn't continue to remain "Anonymous".
Why the cat and mouse game?
Do you just enjoy it?
I don't have any issues with you.
I'm just curious.
btw~ I do think Cad is a "sweet" person and a "wonderful" father. that's my opinion.
I agree... it's pretty pussy-ass of you to shoot your mouth without a link to YOUR blog.
Most can dish it out but they can't handle their OWN live/words to be vulnerable to judgement.
Seriously. I HATE anonymous commenters.
Pussy.
Methinks that anonymous is in dire need of attention. Total attention whore.
Or, is it something more ominous?
Anonymous, you wouldn't be Cad's ex wife now, would you???
*snickering*
Cad - Don't play the game. Don't devote any more blog posts to this imbecile. Seriously, go about your blog, do your thing...and when he/she says something you want to reply to, do so. If they aren't worthy of your time, don't.
Like genital herpes, anonymous posters stay with you forever...but you can treat the symptoms.
CP.
Anonymous?
You are so full of shit that it makes my small intestine ache. Seriously.
First of all, my son and daughter who are 8 years apart, tell one another all the time how nice the other one looks. My son was taught from a VERY young age to respect women, ALL women...and foremost, the women of his family. My daughter, who is 19, showers a lot of attention and affection on her little brother. True, the still fight like cats and dogs, but the reality is, they love one another.
Brothers and sisters are NOT the same worldover. That is a generalization.
I don't think Cad is making mistakes. I think he is trying to find his way through the very messy world of divorce.
My ex husband and I are the best of friends, closer than any two exes could or should be. We've gone through the Bruce Willis/Demi Moore school of co-parenting. My new husband (the Ashton Kutcher of the mix) is very close with my ex husband and they BOTH spend time with the children. We have family dinners together and celebrate holidays and birthdays as a family.
However, it was NOT always this way. It takes TIME, Anonymous. Lots and lots of time. The first year of our split was UGLY. Cad is only in the first few months of this new chapter in his life. And I will tell you that how things turned out for me is not the norm...I was very fortunate to have a man who wanted to co-parent his children along with me without using it as a hidden agenda to get back together.
Mrs. C is spiteful. She is vindictive. She is manipulative and she uses her children as pawns to attempt to retain a marriage that she never valued in the first place.
How do I know all of this?
I WAS Mrs. C once upon a time. (not literally, figuratively).
I have grown and evolved since then...and so will Cad. Everything in due time. Nothing ever at the expense of your children. So, why not back the fuck off? Dysfunction is not yours exclusively. We all have it. We all have our sob stories and our fuck ups and screwed up parents who have made our lives hell.
Those who are really good at the game rise above it.
Then there are those, like you, who only find contentment in watching the sufferage of others. You can be direct. I have always been direct with Cad, straight out telling him to cut the dating shit out while he is still in between two houses. He knows I lay it on the line with him...
but I don't preach. I don't judge.
I think he has been a pretty good rolemodel for his children so far.
Kids are resilient. They bounce back. It's we adults who flounder and fall.
CP.
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