One entry found for smite.
Main Entry: smite
Pronunciation: 'smIt
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): smote /'smOt/; smit·ten /'smi-t&n /; or smote; smit·ing /'smI-ti[ng]/
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English smItan to smear, defile; akin to Old High German bismIzan to defile
transitive verb
1 : to strike sharply or heavily especially with the hand or an implement held in the hand
2 a : to kill or severely injure by smiting b : to attack or afflict suddenly and injuriously
3 : to cause to strike
4 : to affect as if by striking
5 : CAPTIVATE, TAKE [smitten with her beauty]
intransitive verb : to deliver or deal a blow with or as if with the hand or something held
- smit·er /'smI-t&r/ noun
Yeah.
That would be as in number 5 above.
[sigh]
So, after my initial successes with those couple of dates, I decided that I wanted to go out on more dates. So I began to think about what was the most efficient means of meeting women that might be interested in going out.
(yes, I know you can all hear it coming)
Yes. I joined an online dating service.
Being the methodical person I am I checked it out. I created three profiles. One male to cruise around and check things out. One female to check out the competition - with the notation on the profile "Sorry just looking, not ready for dating yet"
And my profile.
I worked and worked and honed and worked on this profile. I put private only pictures (have to ask permission to see). The profile is one of the longest of all the male and female profiles in my age cohort (10 years either way) male or female. I also used their "blogging" capability to build some blog entries around the subject of dating and what I'm looking for in a relationship.
The profile is a thing of beauty. It is some of my finest communications work ever. I'm really proud of it. I showed it and the pics I selected to some of my co-workers (boss and a buddy) and they were in awe. Yes, it's that good - and that on target to my, uh, target audience. [heh!] (ell, they're guys, so they thought it was on target...) And it's all true - 100% accurate - I had them look at it with a critical eye to "puffery". I realised while writing it - Hey! I actually did all that shit. I have been around the world a few times. I can dance. I love music. I have a song in my soul that longs to be released (no - that's not a line from the profile - read the new masthead description on this blog for an outtake ;-) I am funny (most of the time). I do and have done exciting things and have an exciting job(s).
Yes, I know it sounds cheesy, but if I can dress-up and get a haircut (well - not me getting a hair cut of course...) and make sure my teeth are a little whiter and my shoes are shined and pants pressed - why can't I write a really good profile? (my one co-worker is giving a really hard time because it's so well done [he hasn't had a date in awhile...]).
10 pics, 8 with smiles (real/joyful - not posed). 1 in a suit. Most outdoors (plenty of green and water) Historical sites in the background, me in front of a marina, blah blah.
The offers of dates and contacts have been flooding in (literally) - even without a picture on the public profile. Most of them tell me it's the best profile they've seen on the site (good to know my years in the field of communications and research aren't being wasted [heh!]).
I've had 3 other dates that I accepted (I'm being picky - don't need to play the wide open field - I'm a Dad with responsibilities). One date was lame, one was OK, and one was good.
So, I got this new contact "Check out my profile" from a lady. I do. It's uncannily what I think I'm looking for. We exchange some messages. Without prompting or leading questions on my part she just keeps on hitting target with just about everything she writes. So I send picture permission and my phone number. She calls. We talk for something just over two hours and neither of us realises it's that long - we think it's been maybe a half an hour - forty minutes. We set up a date.
That was tonight. She had sent me some photos. She was a pleasant looking lady in the photos, and I loved talking to her over the phone.
We went for supper tonight. She's incredible. She might as well be a compatiblity print-out she matches up so well. Science Fiction freak (she knew every allusion I dropped and book I quoted/cited), and Star Trek out the yinyang, community social activist/worker (not political), parent, healthy diet and lifestyle, doesn't watch much TV, likes Monty Python and English programming, a little artsy, kind (appears to be - and job history suggests kind as well), good sense of humour, blah blah.
She's not nice looking - she's drop dead gorgeous. I was worried I was out of my league.
She's soooooo nice. She put me at ease. I discoverd I wasn't even thinking about looks or worried about it after the first little while. (I'm lying [sort of] - i was constantly aware that she is so constantly stunning she makes my mouth drop open *good thing all the flies are dead from the cold now*) We laughed and talked and blabbed. She asked hard questions about relationship expectations (not that we were going to have one, just what would we expect if...). We took turns. She asked about background and some personal history.
We talked and talked some more.
I really like her (I told her that - she turned all red and blushed). I think she likes me. She said she did, and the questions that came up were not phony baloney filler. She said she felt a little giddy as we parted (hugged for about 2-3 minutes).
And we have another date in two weeks. She's all booked up with work and travel right now (she also teaches seminars and stuff to women around the province [healthy living, emotional well-being, getting in touch with your feelings stuff]). She has alternating custody of her kids, so it's after her next cycle with the kids.
[sigh]
off to bed - got to work out tomorrow morning
see you soon!
[wheeeee!]
11 comments:
Did you manage to tell her you are married? Or did you use the line, "Oh, we're separated now."
Cad, you are married. There's married and there's unmarried. You are not unmarried. You are married.
What do your kids think that their mother's husband is dating other women?
Reality check time. This is not about you. You are affecting other people's lives.
This drop dead gorgeous woman will be labeled "the other woman" whether it is fair or not. You are setting others up for your mistakes.
She sounds absolutely wonderful/perfect for you, Cad!
How exciting! :)
I do hope you told her that you are "living separate and apart" (to use an Alabama phrase used in divorce/separation documents), have an attorney retained, and are in the process of hammering out your divorce, BUT are not divorced YET.
From all the talking/ discussing/ etc that you and this lady did, I would expect that you have told her.
But in case you didn't, you really should. She deserves to know.
btw~ I've never asked this before, but are you and Mrs. C legally separated?
My husband was living away from his wife for a year before their divorce was final. First, because they couldn't come to an agreement, then the attorneys took awhile, then it went before the judge who let it sit for a couple of months before he signed it.
We were together the entire time. But he had left her for me. I WAS the other woman.
That is NOT the case with your situation.
Anyone with any sense would know this. You and she didn't meet until WELL after you'd left Mrs. C.
p.s. I'm starting to think that "Anonymous" is a woman. Or has that already been discussed and I missed that?
separation:
1) fully declared/disclosed in my online profile
2) timeline and situation described first in messaging and in exacting detail in person
we are not legally separated from the standpoint of a legal separation agreement.
legal separation in our jurisdiction is defined from date where the parties are no longer living together "as man and wife" (with gay marriage being allowed that phrase will need to change). in our juridsdiction you can actually be living in the same house as "roommates" and have it count toward the separation/divorce waiting period. the usual marker for separation is the date one of the parties moves out.
under the law in our jurisdiction (according to my lawyer) a legal separation is used to define the structure of a separation - almost a "pre-divorce".
the legal separation is used to define things like support and custody rather than anything else.
there is no concept of "fault" in our laws. having affairs, even violence does not enter into the divorce proceedings.
the law doesn't care who is sleeping with whom.
violence is dealt with under the criminal code (mandatory charging, etc)
even violence between spouses does not impact on things like custody - only the relationship between parent and children is considered in custody
income division, support payments, and property division is separate from each other - unless property division is used as part of the support payments
Cad: I thought you had told her. Especially after all the exchanges of information, etc the two of you had before ever meeting.
I hope thing work out for the two of you to "date" some more. She sounds so perfect for you.
oh, BTW, in one of the last few conversations mrs_c had with me, she said she was intending to see men and date.
i suspect it may have been a ploy to provoke jealousy, but she also said
"i really hope you can find someone who can make you happy. i still love you even if we are apart. you can't stop me. first and formost - i am your friend. and i'll be there even when no-one else is. and i can still want the best for you and want happiness for you. and i want you to be happy. i want you to find someone who makes you happy"
i said that it was not about someone else that i was leaving. that it was between her and i, and that there was no other person.
she said she accepted that, but said that she knew neither of us would go through life alone, and shouldn't and that she hoped someone could make me happy in the ways she didn't
Oh Lord, anonymous.
You really sound like the woman scorned, you know that? I really am starting to believe that you are the former Mrs. C.
What do the kids think that their father is dating?
If daddy is a smart man, and I know he is, then they do NOT know he is dating, because frankly, Anonymous, that is NEVER A CHILDS BUSINESS!
Before my divorced was finalized, I was dating my present husband. My children were introduced to him after a year of us dating. They didn't need to know about my personal life at all. That's not for them to know.
Cadbury dating at this stage of the game is not out of the realm of good taste. I told him, back when he first separated that the timing was NOT GOOD, because he was still debating whether to stay in or get out.
IT appears he has made his choice quite clear and that everyone else is accepting it, except Mrs. C.
And, one date does hardly "the other woman" make. The technicality of him still being married to the person he intends to divorce is menial. He is allowed to have a life, Anonymous. And, knowing Cad as I do, I am pretty certain that he has let this woman know where he is as far as his state of marital non-bliss.
She's a big girl. She's an adult. She can make up her own mind if she wants to be involved with a soon to be single father or not.
Thank GOD my hotband opted to hang in there with me for the long haul.
He's the best thing that ever happened to me, to my children and my highly dysfunctional former life.
Stop judging Cadbury on your own life history, Anonymous.
There are other outcomes.
CP.
Wow...I haven't been by in awhile. seems I missed a lot!! I'm not leaving an opinion one way or the other. If YOU are happy..thats what is important :) I dont judge anyone or anythinig.
Looks like you have your hands full with the anonymous commenter, eh?? Damn!!
You are an interesting read, Mr. Cadbury! :) I enjoy .
This will be the last time anything concerning Mr./Mrs./Ms. Anonymous comes from me.
My advice:
Amputate this Anon person. No more floor time. Let this person leave comments at will. He/she obviously has an axe to grind and craves floor time.
Use the strategy I use when dealing with overzealous adolescents in my classroom:
Do not engage.
It's simple.
It WILL eventually cause Anon's behavior to become extinct.
Promise.
It is the children's business since the new relationship affects them, too.
I'm sorry if people so self-involved cannot see the harm it does to innocent children. It does.
The kids still see mom and dad as married. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE! If your pants or panties are so eager to drop and you cannot see that others are caught up in this, I pity you.
If you care for the children, you will respect them.
I agree with Buddha Girl.
I am so sick of anonymous.
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